Another spring time sunny day was upon us, and the Hash descended upon Recoleta, where our resident Hare, Tit Climber, ably assisted by Stop in my Sex Pit and virgin layer Just Jacqui (who can't remember her hash name from Bangalore!), and doesn't like being called Jacqui, were in attendance. Despite the added attraction (or was that dis-traction?) of the Buenos Aires Half marathon, which had stolen away Windy Culo for the morning, the Racist Windy managing a very credible 1:45:13 and finishing in 2,767th place, and Fill My Hole clocking 1:36:48, some 1700 places ahead in 1071st (Ed.notes... Stop with all this race reporting!).
Despite the host of emails concerned about road closures for the race, a very healthy crowd gathered in from of the Palais de Glace, and nobody seemed to be held up arriving, even the GM managed to make it without a GPS hand from Windy's Monkey Spanker, so all was set for the Hash to start on the weekend that the Rugby World Cup was starting (more of that later!)....
The trail was exceptionally well marked, too well for many as it meant little rest time at check points, and a start near the market in Recoleta naturally had to head towards the cemetery and around the market place. Tourists were staring as the pack, ably lead by Two Secs, Qualified Semen and Foxy Lady, dashed through the BA Design Centre, before heading around the back of the cemetery and into embassy land. Naturally the Hash went up and down every flight of steps that was available - For those who thought Buenos Aires was flat, Think Again when Tit Climber lays trail! He manages to find every incline in the city. This was not good news for Beautiful Bristols, making a welcome return to the Hash, but with her bad knee, utilizing a bike, which had to be carried up and down the stone steps....
very soon, the pack were basking in the sun, and finding the first beer stop, where the hares had provided plenty of beer to replenish the souls, although, once again, the slower pack members managed to avoid the Beer Stop, leaving the macho's to enjoy ample beverage, and the Virgin Just Ramiro (Ed Note - He owns a bar - what a perfect hasher!), was feeling the pace, and enjoying the beer.
Off the pack headed again, and on Libertador there was the usual split, allowing the Macho's to head off to the Club de Amigos and an extended run for them, while the wimps managed to get completely lost (Ed... AGAIN!!!!), but smelling the second beer stop, were able to pick up trail again just before the metal flower at the Plaza de Unidad Nacions, and leap into the parque for the last refill. Amazingly the wimps beat the machos, and then the lost walkers discovered us as well, so the pack were altogether again, and a couple of loops for the machos and a crossing over the bridge saw the pack almost all finishing together back at the Palais de Glace.
The sun was still high in the sky, and the circle commenced with the GM welcoming returnees and Virgins alike, with a good number of new faces, and some old ones too that have been finding it hard to avoid the hangovers from Saturdays in recent months! (Ed... You know who you are!). The new Hymn sheets were delivered, and using the latest microscope technology, even some of the ageing hashers were able to read the 4 point font size, and songs were sang and beer flowed. It's usually at this point that the Hash Trash comes to an end, but we were in for a different ending to the day, and the Rugby World Cup sprang to mind.
Fro some reason unknown to us all, as the Post Hash Empenadas had been dispatched, the last of the beer disappearing into the Hashers Bellys, and people starting to head away, A Cry was heard, heads turned and an Interloper, (El Loco),ran straight into the crowd - Heading for Tit Climber, yelling DIABLO! DIABLO!! pushing aside Hashers and arms flaying, seemed vent on Tit Climber's shirt... It was at this point that I got a good view of what was happening, and our erstwhile GM, displaying the tackling skills that had been lacking from the England teams weak victory on Saturday, flew into action, taking out El Loco, straight to the floor. Just Ramiro ran to assist with Tit Climber sitting on his legs, while shouts of Policia rang out from the crowd, the tourists and locals of Recoleta looked on at the commotion. Fossil Fuck added his foot to the neck of our friend, and we awaited the arrival of the Federales.
I guess we will never know what caused the interruption, but it appeared the Union Flag on Tit Climbers Hash Shirt might have been the red rag to the bull. Naturally with all us gringos on the Hash it is one of the Argentine Hashers who was wearing the flag, and El Loco obviously didn't think too clearly, given the rugby skills of our Hashers. The Policia came, first one on a bike, then a Sergeant, followed by a car, and a couple more - El Loco was handcuffed, laying on his belly on the grass, and the seven
Policia spoke to those around. After a few minutes, an ambulance arrived, as clearly El Loco was just that, a little crazy, and two orderlies got out of the ambulance, the first smoking a ciggie as she walked up to the Police, hand-shakes all round, and at one point, we expected the mate to come out as everyone seemed to forget the guy in handcuffs.... If he had been half awake, he could have rolled away at this point and made his escape, and nobody would have been any wiser..... He was taken away in the ambulance, along with a police escort, and normal service was resumed.
An unexpected ending to the day, but thankfully nobody was hurt, and it has meant that I got to write a lot more in the Hash Trash. ON ON to the next hash on Sept 25th, and full details for the event will be posted next week for your delight....
