Buenos Aires Hash House Harriers Hymnal
TWENTY TOES #1
There’s a game called twenty toes
It’s played all over town
Some folks play with ten toes up
And some with ten toes down
Down, down, down, down, down…..
FATHER ABRAHAM#2
Leader: Father Abraham had seven sons,
Seven sons had Father Abraham,
And he never smiled,
And he never cried,
All he did was go like this - With a right!
All (shout/actions): With a right! (extend right arm)
Leader: Father Abraham had seven sons,
Seven sons had Father Abraham,
And he never smiled,
And he never cried,
All he did was go like this - With a right!
All (shout/actions): With a right! (extend right arm)
Leader: And a left!
All (shout/actions): And a left! (extend left arm)
More verses/actions:
With a right! (extend right leg)
With a left! (extend left leg)
And a HEEEE! (hump pelvis)
And a HUUHH! (turn around, drop pants, moon pack)
MONDAY IS A WANKING DAY#3
Leader: Today is Monday!
All: Today is Monday!
Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
CHORUS:
Leader: Are we gonna have a good time?
All: You bet your ass we are!
All: (raise cups over heads and make one complete turn while humming) Da da dut da da, da da dut da da
Leader: Today is Tuesday!
All: Today is Tuesday!
Leader: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
All: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
Chorus
(now that you've got the idea, here are the rest of the days)
Wednesday is a hmmmm day! (stick tongue between 2nd & 3rd fingers)
Thursday is a drinking day! (raise glass in salute)
Friday is a fucking day! (humping motions, cheering, happiness)
Saturday is a hashing day! (running motions, cheering, happiness)day of rest
Sunday is a hashing day (low key, almost quiet)
(modify as needed for local hashing day, etc . ..)
BALL GAME#4
Whip it out at the Ball Game
Wave it round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjack
I don’t care if you give it a whack
Because it’s beat your meat at the ball game
If you don’t come it’s a shame,
‘cause it’s one, two your covered in goo
at the ol’ ball game
HALF A BRAIN#5
I’ve Only half a brain,
The other half is shit
It comes out by the pound
Squeeze a little more
and it oozes out a bit
BIRTHDAY SONG#6
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole,
Happy birthday, fuck you.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
HER LEFT TIT#7
Her left tit hangs down to her belly,
Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit,
She'd get lots of weenie from me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
HERE’S TO THE VIRGINS#8
Here's to virgins ,
They’re true blue,
They are Hashers,
Through and through,
They are pisspots,
So they say,
Tried to go to heaven,
But they went the other way,
Drink it down, down, down . .
HE'S THE MEANEST#9
He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
All he does is pound it,
Ever since he found it,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
He's always pissing on us,
He's rotten and dishonest,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
So drink it down, down, down . . .
HIS ONE-SKIN#10
His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
OPTIONAL VERSES:
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back his foreskin for him, for him.
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back his foreskin for him.
INTERNATIONAL HASH HYMN#11
CHORUS:
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.
I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.
If you get there before I do,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends that I'm coming too,
Coming for to carry me home.
(repeat with variations: humming and motions only, silence and motions only, double-time)
MEET THE HASHERS#12
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history,
From the, hash in BA,
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down
WHY ARE WE WAITING? #13
Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .
OUR LAGER#14
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill upon us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Forever and ever, Barmen.
SHORT HYMN#15
Hymn, hymn, (Her, her,)
Fuck him . . . (Fuck her . . .)
SOLDIER SONG # 16
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for thee,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON#17
They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .
THIS IS YOUR DOWN-DOWN SONG#18
This is your Down-Down song,
It isn't very long. . . .
WHAT A WANK#19
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.
WHY WAS (S)HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL? #20
Why was (s)he born so beautiful?
Why was (s)he born at all?
(S)he's no fuckin' use to anyone,
(S)he's no fuckin’ use at all.
They say (s)he's a joy to his/her mother,
But (s)he's a pain in the asshole to me,
PUT YOUR LEFT LEG OVER MY SHOULDER
#21
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
(wag tongue)
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
FUCK A DUCK#22
Fuck a duck,
A female duck,
Screw a baby kangaroo,
Finger bang an orangutan,
Let an elephant eat you,
FEEL the penis of an eel,
WHACK the asshole of a yak,
MASTURBATE with a gnu,
That will bring us back to
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck . . .
Repeat with motions, humming, silence, etc
HEAD CHANT#23
Head? Who said head?
I'll take some of that!
Oooh-rah!
And I did, and it was good,
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours,
Uprooting trees, and shrubs, and flowers?
We fucked like Vikings, with horns on our head.
Head? Who said head?
I'll take some of that!
Oooh-rah!
MACDONALD'S FARM#24
Old MacDonald had a farm,
Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh.
And on that farm he had a whale!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOUGH, RAY, ME#25
Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks the beer,
Fa, a long way to the john,
So, I'll have another beer,
La, I'll have another beer,
Tea, no thanks I'm drinking beer,
And that brings us back to,
Beer, Beer, Beer, Beer . . (etc)
MRS MURPHY#26
Take it in your hand Mrs Murphy
For it only ways a quarter of a pound
It's got hair on its neck like a turkey (gobble, gobble!)
And it spits when you shake it up and down
Drink it down, down, down . . .
BATTLE HYMN OF THE HASHER#27
Melody – Battle Hymn of the Republic
His eyes have seen the horror of the steepness of the trail,
His ears have heard the whining of the whinging Hashers’ tale,
His lips have felt the passing of this nation's finest ale, This Hasher's done it all!
CHORUS: Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!
Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!
Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!
Now drink it down, down, down!
AMAZING BEER#28
A - maz - ing beer,
A taste profound,
a whole keg just for thee!
The pack is lost,
But home you've found,
The beer check you can see
CLOSE TO BREW#29
Melody - Close to You
Why do hashers suddenly appear,
Every time BEER is NEAR?
Just like me, they long to be, Close to Brew,
Ahhhhh Ahhhh Ahh,
Close to Brew,
Ahhhhh Ahhhh Ahh,
Down Down Down!
SHITTY TRAIL #30
S-H-I, T-T,Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty Trail (It sucked),
Shitty Trail (Totally Fucked)
I’d rather sit here
And drink My beer,
Than run your Shitty Trail
THE HASHERS LOVE SONG#31
I can’t say I love You when you’re sitting on my face.
Can’t whisper sweet nothings when my mouth’s in another place.
So excuse me for a moment while I spit out some hair.
And I’ll tell you I Love You when I come up for air.
