Hash Trash

Hash #613 - The Hashy New Year Hash

With the soaring temperatures of the summer in Buenos Aires, a decision to switch the time, and day, of the First Hash of the New Year, to Saturday evening, paid dividends as a slightly cooler evening hash took place this past Saturday. Our Four Femme Fatals, Blanca Wanka, Cheap Lice, Chorizo Lover and Smells Like Fish, took the honours of laying the first trail of the year, and managed to please almost everyone by laying a great trail, with TWO Beer Stops - Always Welcome.

In the absence of our GM, no doubt relaxing with a cool one somewhere nice, Forest Drunk took charge of the circle, and suitably managed to devour all the beer - Well, not personally, but amongst the entire thirsty hashers. A naming took place, which I am sure will be explained eventually, with Miguel Ruggiero now to be know as "Two Nuts and A Bolt - 1mm".. (Ed's Note - I haven't a clue either!).

Hares were volunteered for most of the next couple of months, and no doubt there will be some sore heads this morning (Ed's Note - For "This Morning", read every morning after a Hash!)....

ON ON
Inspect Her Assets (with a lot of help from my imagination, and Forest Drunk!).

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Hash #597 - The Pacheco Hash

This will definitely be a first, trying to write a Hash Trash not only when you didn't actually get to the hash, but the fact that I am 10,000 miles or so, on the other side of the world. OK, I confess, I didn't put the information together, I am eternally grateful to Blanka Wanka for dropping me the following lines to keep you posted on what went on.

Here is her report :)

It was fecking frío! Lots of cloud, but it didn't actually rain. We missed your sun!
Hares did excellent job, well-marked trail, including lots of muddy bits.
Several stray dogs joined in the run. And enjoyed it, mucho.
Two beer stops. :-) The second with nibbles. :-)
Forest Drunk ably assisted Drill my Hole during the circle.
Two virgins - Ines and a friend of El Diablo (whose name I can't remember). Sorry!
Lots of returnees and a visitor from Taiwan.

Three people got named: Tina was named Tequilla Titties, Yinna became VaGina, and Maria was given the name of Cheap Lice.
(I would like to point out that they had neither flour or beer tipped on their heads. The RA and acting GM were way too kind to them!).

A few down downs. About 4 people for stretching. Well, it was fecking frío. And Blanca Wanka for being lazy at a check-point, and only checking one block, when she needed to go for one and a half blocks. ;-)
Empanadas were BIG and delicious, and scoffed down by all.
Just Iberia got a bit tipsy and fell down the steps in the Plaza. (Argentineans can't take the beer). (Ed's note - Although I have it on good advice that despite falling, JI managed to hold onto her beer mug and didn't spill a drop - A True Hasher!)

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#596 The Palermo Chicas Hash - Sunday May 5th, 2013

Another bright sunny day, and with our quintet of chicas having studied the streets of Palermo for many weeks, a well marked, well mapped trail was on the cards. It was also to be my own last hash here for a while, as Ireland is calling me, and to mark the occasion I managed to be late, arriving well after the pack had exited, but it did give me an excuse for a Starbucks.

So, in truth, I can't write much about the trail, except for the fact that everyone seemed to enjoy it, and the photographs are evident of that. Once everyone had returned, including Roger the Cabin Boy, who managed to get a free cholesterol test on the trail, the circle gathered together and copious amounts of beer were consumed by one and all.

Our new RA, Drill My Hole, managed to dash off before the circle to sign a contract, leaving yours truly to have one last hurrah, before departing these shores.

The photos are popped here for all to see, and ON ON to the next Hash, with full details here early next week.






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The 20th Burpday Bash and Red Dress Run #594/595

Well, it's the Thursday after and I think I've finally started to recover from the weekend that was, the BA HHH 20th Burpday Celebrations....

It all started on the Friday night, when Hashers started to arrive in town, and in Breoghan's Bar in San Telmo, for a few drinks and the intended Pub Crawl. The trouble was, that just as we were starting to think about crawling to another bar, someone else arrived, then a text message to say they were on their way, could we wait. Party Pants had the T-Shirts available for those that were present, and by the time the clock had ticked around to 11 o'clock, it didn't seem like a good idea to bother moving around the town, so we settled down and drank, laughed and lubed up for the main events.

Saturday morning saw the sun shining brightly (What a great RA!), and IHA, El Diablo and our visiting hasher up from Mar del Plata, Just Andrea, set off to lay trail for the Red Dress Run. Slight panic came upon us as we finished laying the trail at around 3:45 as there was no sign of life at Breoghan's, the meeting point, but 5 minutes later, the bar was open, and strange looking shapes started to arrive, bedecked in various shades of red, some pink, and one or two applying make up and their cheerleaders outfits - And then the Women turned up!

As we assembled, people took a drink to limber up, wandered out onto the street to wave at passing bemused bus passengers, and waited until the GM and the RA announced the welcome hare talk and set everyone off......



Immediately heading up in a mass of ever 60 red-decked hashers, much to the amusement of locals, withing a block Check was called - with a Booby Check at the first corner (They were all Booby Checks today - It was a Red Dress Run - we all had boobies!). Crossing Independencia, Cant's Say No was already worried we were heading past her apartment (we were!), and after three checks at the first three corners, we were heading back down Peru, and before Hashers could even start to sweat, a Beer Near sign had the front runners screaming to a half, before spotting the Beer Stop arrow pointing straight into the Gibraltar bar, where Beaver and Jenny had started pouring liquid refreshment for the, not so thirsty, hashers!



After a few minutes wondering how the hash had managed to droop into the bar, and dropping a swift half, it was back to the streets, and more checks. The hares had done a great job at keeping the pack together, and although there were one or two cries of "Oh God, Another Bloody Check", the pack was in good spirit. A quick dash, completely off trail, through the San Telmo market, saw the pack then run through Plaza Dorego, and then turn back, with even more checks, towards the centre of town. A jog down Venezuela, took the pack to Balcarce and the turn towards Plaza de Mayo...

Casa Rosada (Pinky Laid was excited!) loomed upon us, with another little check, before the Beer Near sign was spotted, and the pack settled in for the second Beer Stop right on Plaza de Mayo, in front of the Presidential Palace. Now, we were joined on the Plaza by the inaugaration of the new Archbishop of BA, with a crowd outside the cathedral, and also by the Police. We were approached by a local constabulary officer, who thought we might be some gay and lesbian cult who were about to gate crash the archbishops party, but we convinced him we were just a drinking club with a running problem, who liked dressing up in funny clothes, and he shrugged his shoulders and walked away! A wonderful rendition of Allouette, lead by Footise (See Video posted earlier), finished off the beer, and before we knew it, we were off to show our legs and dress sense to other unsuspecting Portenos!



The pack headed off towards Florida and Reconquista, before passing the venue for the dinner that night, and then heading down to Puerto Madero. The front runners were given the chance to get a little run in here, as the slower bodies eased back and enjoyed the interaction with tourists and locals alike. Forest Drunk was leading the conversations, while Anal Friendly was passing out the web site address to all who asked what the heck we were doing.

Gradually, as the sun set, the pack wormed their way back to Breoghan's and a welcome beer. Just Ramiro had brewed a Special Red Dress Ale for the occasion, which went down well, and the circle commenced with a welcome to our visiting hashers from Brazil and the US, and the large contingent from Uruguay, with a couple of virgins to add to the mix, who couldn't have picked a better day to start their hashing life.

Drill My Hole, Doon Doon, Footsie and Forest Drunk were looking cute in their little numbers, with IHA showing a very low cut cleavage, and Anal Friendly sporting a bikini top, although all agreed it looked much better on Blanka Wanker! The girls looked stunning in their little red numbers too, and great credit must go to everyone for getting into the spirit of the Red Dress Run and dressing accordingly. A Special toast was raised for Donna Rhinehart, the Original Lady in Red, who inspired the Red Dress Runs, who had sadly passed away last week, and Inspect Her Assets announced his resignation as RA, due to his imminent departure from BA, handing over the reigns to Drill My Hole, who will bring a new teutonic sense of style to the Hash!



Before you could draw your breath from the circle, we were off to the dinner - Many not changing out of their attire, and dinner, dancing, karaoke, more beer drinking, and a heck of a lot of fun took place, well into the early hours of Sunday morning. I could write more here, but I prefer to protect the innocent, although I will mention Windy Culo, as he managed to miss the run, most of the circle, arrived in time for the dinner, and then fell asleep as we partied around him!

On Sunday, amazingly, over 40 hashers managed to recover in time to head to Palermo, and the actual 20th Burpday run, from the same spot that the Very first Hash took place, back on April 23rd, 1993. The run took us around the lakes of Palermo, with sore legs & sore heads being the feelings expressed by many. The legs were sore from all the dancing on Saturday night, and I have no idea why people had sore heads. It was great to see nearly everyone in our 20th Burpday Red T-Shirts, and the circle took place with more bemused on lookers wondering what we were up to. The story of the weekend.

A great weekend, and I will post a separate album of the best pictures accumulated from the thousands taken by everyone. In the meantime, that's the 20th Burpday over, runs 594 and 595, and if you are good at Maths, you can see that we are approaching hash #600 very soon, so no sooner one party over, before we gear up for another one. Such is the life of Hashing.

ON ON


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#592 The El Tano Hash

After the excesses and greenery of the Paddy's Day Hash, it was a more sober,(Ed's Note - Not for long!), group of Hashers that headed down to Avellaneda last Sunday for the El Tano Meat Feast Hash.

The weather was perfect, as usual, and the crowd gathered nice and early to follow the trail laid by Inspect Her Assets and El Diablo, with the expectation of a parilla after the run. Salivating hashers were joined by journalists from Para Ti magazine, who were writing an article on the Meet Up Social Network, which the Hash uses to supplement our advertising. I'm not sure the journalists quite understood what we were about, but the photographer certainly enjoyed himself, even if he did refuse a beer - TWICE!

The Pack set off at 11.30 on the dot, as were on a tight deadline to make the restaurant. Numerous checks and false trails in the first few minutes kept the pack together, with around 12 runners and 20 walkers making up the numbers. Too many stops for pictures were making the RA impatient (Ed's Note - He is a bossy sod at times!), and with the pack stringing out, a decision was taken at the Beer Stop to modify the On In for the Wimps. BUT, not before the entire pack had to pass El Tano, with racks of Asado being cooked, visible to the runners as they slowed to enjoy the smell of roasting meat, and then sprinting on, so they could get back to eat a little later.

The runners passed the iconic Estadio Presidente Peron, or El Cilindro, home of the best football team in Argentina, Racing Club de Avellandea, (Ed's Note - A Little bias there me thinks!), before heading into the town centre,across the Plaza Alsina, and heading back homeward. Meanwhile, the Wimps had been officially sanctioned to take a shortcut, otherwise they might have starved to death, and arrived at the ON-IN before the runners, and the RA managed to conduct the fastest Circle ever seen in BA, although, again, not sure the journalists quite knew what was going on, the same could be said for a lot of other people.

Then it was off to El Tano, with the runners just about making it back as the walkers set off to the restaurant. 29 for dinner, with only a couple of people leaving before dinner, and WHAT a dinner was served up. Plate after plate of meat arrived in front of us all. Salads, chips, you name it, it was there. Bottles of wine, beer for some, and softies, were all in plentiful supply, and just when you thought you had seen enough meat - more came. We sang Happy Birthday to Wire Me Baby, in Spanish, and in Hash, and I seem to recall a "clean" Hash Song was also sung, to the amusement of the packed restaurant.

Ice Cream followed the meat, and then buckets of Champagne appeared on the tables, and toasts were made. Hopefully everyone enjoyed the meal, although I think it fair to say, that for some, even with the biggest appetites, there was simply too much! But, if you thought that the hash ended there, you would be wrong, as most of the diners returned to Tongue y Lingus and yours truly's home, and we proceeded to hold a much more intense circle up on the roof terrace.

Numerous down downs were introduced, with our visitors, Cock a Doodle Dick and Cat in Heat from Guyana welcomed in style, along with new to BA hashing Just Sarah also getting the customary welcome. Just Sarah's boyfriend had also been "at the restaurant", via Skype from New York, and he looked totally bemused by everything. Milestones were announced for El Diablo reaching 50, and Just Delfina and Alison with One L reaching their 10th runs - Naturally we decided to give our two decimals Hash names, and Just Delfina became Old Fag, while One L, was Hashtized Blanca Wanka.

And so another Hash came to a conclusion, with this one going on much longer than most, with hopefully everyone leaving with a full tummy, and having had a great day out.

Onwards to the next hash, down in Quilmes on April 7th, hared by Simple Simon and Pussy Galore, with Just Jo assisting too. Having had two "Event" Hashes in the last 7 days, the long weekend for Easter will be a welcome break, and time to recover, in time for Quilmes!

Pictures from the El Tano Hash are here for your pleasure, or otherwise!

#592 El Tano

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The End of One Year, The start of the Next #586 & #587

And so we draw the veil on 2012 and look forward to 2013 with Hashpectations! The end of the Year Show took place in San Telmo, with Rory and Cat, are very welcome guests from Ireland hosting and hareing, while the New Year was brought in, in French style, by Forest Drunk in Boulogne Sur Mer.

Both hashes were blessed by Blue Skies, very hot sun, and plenty of beer. We managed a few namings to end the Year, with Hares Rory & Cat being named "I Rish I was Bi" and "Open Down Under" respectively, and a long time unnamed Hasher, Caz, being given the title of "Hardly Cums".

The runs were great on both Hashes, with the New Years being shorter as the weather was expected to reach the mid 30's - It did. We welcomed visitors and virgins, and Open Down Under's Home made Lasagne left us all willing to have a whip around to keep her in Buenos Aires as long as possible.

Three Beer Stops along the way in the Norther Barrio, close to France, were very welcome, with only one casualty. visiting Hasher Hardigan Sweater losing the pack after the third stop, but thankfully returning for a dip in the pool, and a down down for failing to keep up.

I attach pictures, courtesy of Sleazy Rider and Cums in Class, from #586 at the end of the year, and as soon as I have a few pics from last weeks event, I'll add them in.

#586

ON ON

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BA Hash Weekend in Tandil #'s 583 & 584

The BA Hash went wild in Tandil last weekend. At least that was the idea, but the weather was so wonderful, it was more a case of BA Hash going Tranquilo en Tandil. Twenty four intrepid Hashers set off on Friday for the drive down to Tandil, and the first hills you come to when you leave BA, only a matter of 400+ Kilomteres of flat land to stay awake alongside as you drive!

The camp site was outside of the city, and arriving in the dark, we found it easily enough, good directions from El Diablo,(and Google Maps), and our cabin was sat awaiting us. Once settled in, we had our own quincho for the weekend, and El Diablo and Drill my Hole were already setting wood alight, with You're Fired having found the local carnaceria and meat was cooking away slowly. The beer was being popped, and a great evening was had as hashers who had been missing in action for awhile were brought back into the fold.

Saturday morning, not a cloud in the sky, with the temperature already in the high 20's at 10am. It had been planned to have the first run of the weekend around 1, but a quick discussion between the GM, RA and the hares, agreed that we would push back until later in the afternoon, maybe it would be cooler! The Hashers enjoyed the weather, some sun block was being applied, and then lunch arrived! Now, personally, I have been living in Argentina for three years, and have become accustomed to the common pre-dinner picada of salami's, cheese, maybe palitos, peanuts and crisps. We were to be treated to a Picada to end all Picadas. This was Picada Tandil style... Three or four different meats, cheese to die for, and a selection of olives that were delicious, and so much of it, we left enough to act as a pre-lunch picada on Sunday, all washed down with a beer or two.

All this set us up for the Hash, we almost forgot why we had travelled south for the weekend, but finally we assembled, El Diablo and Drill My Hole gave a Hare Talk, with the trail laid in a mix of toilet paper, flour and black chalk. We were off, across fields, under barbed wire, scrambling over a stream, and climbing a hill - Not something us BA Hashers are used to! And most surprising of all - Roger the Cabin Boy was Front Running (OK, he was really front walking, as at this point nobody was running!), not a sight often seen in BA.

The trail took us up and down the hillsides, passed the spy station, with wonderful views around each corner, before finally descending into the town of Tandil itself. And what a beautiful town Tandil is. Like many Argentine towns, laid out around a central Plaza, with fountains, statues and churches looking on. An exceptionally clean city, very little graffiti, no rubbish on the streets, and pavements that were actually pavements. We had a beer stop in the Plaza, before a split in the trail with the Machos getting a few extra kilometers in, while the rest of us walked up to the castle, before descending to the reservoir, and the pristine park alongside, where we disturbed a loving couple, as we set up the circle.

The circle was extended as we welcomed back the MIA Hashers, Kama Putra and Spice Up My Clit, Visiting hasher Six Buck Fuck from Las Vegas, and our only virgin of the weekend, Juan Carlos (Forrest Drunk's father in law), with Six Buck's explanation of her name listened to with fascination (Ed's Note - Big Words!), and your intrepid RA's interview with our Virgin already up on the Internet for your pleasure... (Ed's Note - Amazing what you can do when two people don't understand a word of each others language!)... After the circle, and a few more beers, the Hash went in Remises, rather than in Pieces, as took cars back to the campsite for the evenings entertainment.

After freshening up, we descended on the quincho, where El Diablo was once again firing up the parilla, and a wonderful asado was had, with the ribs to die for, along with spectacular salads, beer, and sangria all in plentyiul supply. As the embers died on the fire, some went off to their sleep, but many of our more adventurous hashers went next door, where a singer was entertaining the locals, and before you knew it, the Hashers became the entertainers, with Shuffled Along being asked for the first dance by our Virgin Juan Carlos, (The Cup of Love was brought out the next day!), and our GM was seen bodypopping, or so some have said! The last dance of the night saw a slight mishap, with Forrest Drunk (Ed's Note - Living Up to his name!), accidently knocking Kama Putra's glasses off, thankfully he had a spare pair handy!

Sunday morning saw a few sore heads, but the sun shining brightly again, and El Diablo had once again been up at the crack of dawn (Ed's Note - Lovely girl that Dawn!), and laid trail, and the Hangover Hashers went off for their short(ish) run. There did seem to be some confusion on this run as the Hashers reappeared from three different directions upon their return. A special dispensation was granted to allow for a seated circle, and due punishments were given out for Saturday nights frolics, and the circle ended with a wonderful rendition of Singing In the Sun, and the International Hymn of the Hash, Swing Low.

But, there was more still to come, as the parilla had been roasting away, and more food and drink was consumed by all, and a huge thanks has to go to El Diablo for his efforts over the weekend, along with Drill My Hole, who ably assisted, and everyone else who helped with beer runs, food runs, and actual runs. Most of all, thanks to the City of Tandil for hosting us, even if they didn't know we were coming. On On to the next Hash, the Xmas Hash on the 16th December at Windy Culo's in Accassuso!

#583 Tandil

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The GM's Burpday Bash - #580 - Saturday October 20th 2012

Saturday, yes you read that right, Saturday, saw the Hash heading to Nunez and the GM's abode, for the Special Burpday Bash to celebrate Footsies 39th Birthday (Ed's note - Creep!).

The weather was once again, absolutely perfect for a Hash, thanks to the hard work of the RA, despite the forecast predicting storms. Needless to say, there wasn't a cloud in the sky as the Hashers congregated at the starting point. A few subway delays meant a late start, but soon we were on our way, with the FRB's setting off at a lively pace, while the wimps strolled along in the spring sunshine.



With the sun, we welcomed back some MIA Hashers, with Roger the Cabin Boy back from his Australian sabbatical, with Sextasis and Down Town Matias making a welcome return, Cosita y Cosito Correntino back to visit, and three virgins entering the fold too!.

The FRB's made rapid headway to the Beer Stop, but Footsie was concerned that the Wimps had decided to sunbathe in the parks, as he used technology (Ed's note - He telephoned Old Hag to check up on us!. Of more concern, was that the Beer Master, Doon Doon, had under-estimated the alcoholic consumption of those front runners, and by the time the wimps arrived, there was only one bottle of beer left (Ed's Note - Serves them right for being so slow!).

At this point, the trail split, with the Machos heading off on a run along the railway line, whilst the wimps, joined by a couple of FRB's who had decided to take the second half easy, took the train, which certainly shortened the exercise part of the journey!

Once back on trail, the On In was back along the Out trail, so saving flour and energy from our hares, a clever ruse (Ed's Note - Maybe Footsie needs to save energy at his age!), and soon we were back at the starting point and raring to go for the circle. But not before Pussy Galore managed to fall over a dog in the park, although some reported that our sweet pussy just lashed out at the dog, the pussy lost, as she landed face down, thankfully not badly injured, but, One-Nil for Doggie Power!

The circle was it's usual hectic self, with down downs a plenty. Notably Anal Friendly was made to drink out of the piss pot for falling asleep at the last hash (Ed's Note - He may have been a tad tipsy!), Wire Me Baby and Good Service were reported for in-depth conversations, and made to drink out of the Cup of Love, while Forrest Drunk was punished for having a drag of a Marlboro whilst allegedly running! The welcome returnees were welcomed back in beer, and our three virgins, Andreas from Denmark, Alison from England, and Richard from Ireland, were given a typical BA Hash Hello.

The final act of the day was the naming ceremony for the Hasher formerly known as Just Tomas. There was much deliberation, and various suggestions, before a Cheer of Acclaim was given, and Just Tomas was no more. He is to be forever known as Drill My Hole. Beer and breadcrumbs were used to anoint our latest victim, and the circle was releaeed in pieces to enjoy the food that was ready to be served.

See you all at the next hash, which also will be on a Saturday, the Halloween Treat, on November 3rd, at Doon Doon and Bad Fly's Palace, north of the city. Full details to be posted soon.

ON ON

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#577 The One with the Prussian Hares

Once again the sun was shining on the Hash as the seasons are turning from winter to spring, and there were certainly a few legs showing this Sunday as the Hash went in search of San Isidro, and a trail laid by our co-hares Wire Me Baby and Just Thomas, the guys with the Prussian connection!

We were also blessed by the return from his money laundering (Ed's note - You mean Vacation!) trip to Miami, by the GM, and for the first time in 7 months, yours truly, the RA, was going to attempt to actually do the hash, with the old back starting to mend. It was also noted that the Buenos Aires 1/2 Marathon had taken place earlier that morning, which depleted our ranks, as many of our Hashers are Racists, and with the delightful exception of Online Pussy, it was too much to expect them to come to the Hash. The worst example of this was Windy Culo, who called just before the start of the Hash to say he couldn't make it there, as it was too hard to get there after the 21K run,(he lives 6 blocks from the Hash start!).

As the sun shone, it soon transpired that Just Thomas has been out laying trail at 6am, while Wire Me Baby had a good lie-in. We were informed that the Mack Trail was around 11Km, while the wimps would enjoy/endure, only 4km today, to which news there was much rejoicing! JT put his geophysical skills to the test and had managed to lay a very clear trail, with arrows, flour, and some strange lettering that only he understood, having used Ancient Prussian, or might as well have! Wire Me Baby was still enjoying his beauty sleep!

The pack set off, with the Machos racing away, while the Wimps enjoyed the sun, and some great conversation as they followed the trail through Accasusso and Martinez, to a welcome beer stop, manned by Wire Me Baby, who had finally got out of bed! The trail had been excellently designed to ensure that both groups were not far apart, with the cries of On On being heard on parallel blocks. The second beer stp was by the Tren de la Costa, and with the added benefit of going up and down the only bloody hills in Buenos Aires, as a special treat!, the Machos headed off for their extra beer stop, while the wimps beat them back to the start after the longest 4km Hash ever, obviously Kilometres in Bottrop iin Germany are a lot longer than in Argentina.... Ummm, and he's a geophysicist.....!!!

The circle ensued, as Wire Me Baby disappeared again, probably for a nap, and suitable punishments were issued to those wearing racist shirts, medals, and any other reason we could think of for a down down. We initiated a virgin, Nathan from Tulsa, who seemed to enjoy the singing and the beer, so we hope we haven't frightened him away. WMB suddenly arrived back, carrying food, so we forgave him for everything as we tucked into Asian noodles, which was a first for me at least. Just as the hash was concluding, we were thrilled by the arrival on an ex GM, Underhung, along with Sextasis and Doggie Style, who had been half marathoning earlier in the day, with Underhung on a short visit back from his new location in New Zealand.

Another great hash, thanks to the hare(s), and all those who took part, here's to the next one on Sep 23rd in San Telmo.

On On....

#577

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Not really the Hash Trash from #575, but Photos

As I was unable to attend this Hash, I can't really write a Hash Trash. What I can say is that everyone had a good time judging by thr pictures, so here they are for your delight!

#575

Hash Trash #574 - The Chorizo Hash

Yep, we were back in the south this weekend, with the Third Anal Avellaneda Hash hosted by the RA and the Hash cook, Tongue y Lingus. Given my bad back, I was unable to lay much trail, (two blobs I think!), and so, Viagra Spices, visiting us once again from New York, (or Florida, or Philadelphia!), kindly offered his assistance, and a wonderful trail was laid around streets that he had no idea where they went to!! (Despite great instructions!).

As the Hashers arrived, the hare had still not returned. A text message from Just Cristina(Not THAT one!)announced she was arriving (late), and the GM decided to delay the start until 12, in the hope that the hare would return. (This also allowed the GM and one or two others to imbibe some Whisky Flavoured Alcohol to warm them up before the run!) He didn't return, so, trail instructions were given, and it seemed we had a live hare for this run - or, very possibly a dead hare lying in a ditch somewhere having taken a wrong turning along the way. Thankfully that wasn't the case, and off the Hashers went, with a unique Macho/Wimp split at the start. Five minutes later the Wimps were back, as they had found a cunning False Trail mark, intended for the Machos, but they were sent packing with instructions, and the Beer Stop Crew set off some ten minutes later, just as the Hare returned.

Unfortunately, due to the pack taking a wrong turn somewhere along the way, the Beer Stop wasn't reached by the pack, and a phone call advised those of us at the Beer Stop that the first Hashers had returned home. So, quickly packing up the beer, we all returned, and, thankfully everyone returned safely.

The circle took place on the roof terrace,(posh name), with the GM enthralling everyone with his down downs for the returnees, and as the beer flowed, notably on the floor following some Beer Crimes from Viagra Spices, the songs were screamed out, with the GM and Doon Doon, finally understanding the words of Number 17, soon to replace, "What a Wank" as their favourite. The final act of the day was the naming of Just Gonzalo, who has hardly missed a hash since his virginity was lost, and given his amicable nature, and Just Brenda informing us about his attention to detail, the name that sprung to many a mind was Anal Friendly, and so he was baptised!

Once the circle was complete, and the Hash had been sent away in pieces, the throng moved downstairs for the highlight of the day (more beer? - NO!),the Chorizo a la Portuguesa (or something like that!), the dish of the day, cooked up by Tongue y Lingus. Although it was a beautiful sunny day (As usual, thanks to the RA), there was a chill in the air, and the Chorizo certainly hit the spot with one and all.

Another great Hash was completed. It may have been a little shorter than anticipated, but given the Hare was from New York, it still was entertaining, sidling past El Tano Parilla along the way, which no doubt helped to get the taste buds going before the Chorizo later. The beer flowed, the circle managed to catch many a Hasher, and once again, everyone went home with a smile on their face. And the whisky bottle was empty!

ON ON to the next Hash on the 12th August, where Wire Me Baby will be hareing!

And here are the pictures from Sunday, as collated from the various Hash Flashers :)

#574 Avellaneda

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Pics from the 2nd Rio de la Plata Hash, or BA #570!

A great weekend of Hashing, eating and drinking, along with some sight-seeing, took place, when our friends from Uruguay came over for the 2nd Annual Rio de la Plata Hash. The run took place from San Telmo on the Sunday, taking in Purto Madero, Casa Rosada, and the markets of San Telmo, before ending in Breoghasns Bar for the circle and lots of beer!

Here are some pictures from the weekend for your delight!

#571 rio del Plata 2

Hash Trash & Pics #563 - The Mardi Gras Hash

Last Sunday saw the Mardi Gras Hash, and whilst I was unable to get there thanks to being laid flat on my back (a position many hashers end up in after a Hash!), I received lots of pictures, which are here for you to see, and also a first hand report from Pussy Galore who called around on her way home from the run. Sad to have missed all the fun, and especially the Pulled Pork from Old Hag (always wonderful!), but big thanks to the Harriettes for the Kisses - Nice Touch.

Two Secs and Online Pussy were winner and runner up in the costume design on the day, and looking at the pics, it seems that even in my absence the weather was perfect (I had a word!). Once again we welcomed virgins and visitors, and great to see a number of recent new Hashers returning and hopefully enjoying another great Hash.

Here are the pics for you, and hopefully I can be back with my jokes (Thanks Two Secs for keeping the tradition going - although my spy told me yours were funny!), by St Patricks Day.

ON ON - Inspect Her Assets.....

#563

Hash Trash #560 - The Lots of Virgins Hash

Apologies for being slow with the Hash Trash - Blame it on the weather, in case you hadn't noticed it's been HOT! Now, I am not complaining too much about the temperatures, but coming from a Northern Hemisphere climate, it's hard to get to grips with January Temps hitting 40 celsius, and I get lazy :)... Having said that, Online Pussy is presently visiting New York, and was Hashing In the Snow yesterday - where they marked the trail with ketchup and baby powder (son't get the latter!).

Well, I am glad to say that we had no snow last Sunday, and a late start did little to avoid the summer temperatures, and once again, the RA delivered a sunny day for Hashing. Technically our new GM's second Hash as Leader of the Pack, but as Ivor the Engine managed to make the Jan 1st Hash in Accassuso his final swan song, Footsie was looking forward to this event as his first solo outing as GM. A combination of the summer holidays and the weather meant that many of teh regular Hashers from Buenos Aires were out of town, but Two Secs and Just Catha had laid a mean trail, and the crowd began to gather in Plaza Primero de Mayo from 4pm and were raring to go.

Despite the lack of some regulars, for some unknown reason we had a lot of Virgins turning up. Out of the 22 on the Hash, 6 were complete Virgins, Samantha and Twyla passing through from the States, another American, Jack, who is living in BsAs for a few months, Claudia who had arrived in town that weekend and may be staying, and two locals from BsAs who were lapping it all up, Fabiana and Maria, and we hope to see some of these again, and as for Samantha & Twyla, they got hooked on Hashing right away and are looking forward to future hashes back home in Oklahoma when they eventually finish travelling. Added to these folk we had a visiting Hasher, Don't Go Down There, originally from Atlanta, but presently Hashing in Santiago, and what must go down as one of the longest Missing In Action Returnees ever, SIXTEEN YEARS, with Silvina Rana joining us - although she did have an excuse as she was living overseas for a large period of this time.

So, with all these newbies, the Hash set off, with Don't Go Down There leading the pack off. A Front Runner Extreme, with an inability to count (Checks with numbers were not part of his consideration), he lead the pack with gusto, and was followed by El Diablo, and Just Samuel, along with IHA, Can't Say No and Just Jack close behind. Flour was thin on the ground as the Urban Hash took us around the streets of Congresso and headed off towards Once, but chalk marks were clear at crossings, and few were lost - with the exception of the GM and his posse, who managed to completely lose the trail, and even missed the Beer Stops!!!

The walkers enjoyed their stroll around and the Beer was very welcome at the two Beer Stops, with the second being on the Plaza de Congresso, before the final stretch back to the starting point and meeting up with the GM who was enjoying the sun, without the run!

With so many virgins, visitors and returnees, it was a long circle, with plenty of singing, going through the entire song sheet, and a final rendition of Swing Low, which had bemused Virgins, and park goers laughing along, before we retired to Just Catha's Apartment for a wonderful On Afters, with much thanks for the food to the two hares who did themselves proud on a wonderful day for Hashing.

Two contrasting pictures from this week's hashes - One from New York and one from our circle - Which would you prefer?

Hash Trash #557 & #558 - It's Xmas Time

Sorry I have been lax at getting the Hash Trash up for the Despedida and Xmas hashes. After getting home on Sunday from the Xmas Hash, I was without Internet Access until late on Tuesday, which was then followed with a Power Cut on Wednesday from 3am until 11pm last night - Air Conditioners obviously overload the grid, so apologies.

Well, it's been an eventful, and floury time. Friday the 9th saw the Hash out in full in San Telmo for the Despedida hash for Ivor the Engine and Beautiful Bristols. Breoghans Bar hosted the night, with the theme being canary yellow, and the run kicked off around the streets of San Telmo, with far too many Beer Stops, and also some confusion as we neared Plaza de Mayo and Casa Rosada, as the trail appeared to go past the security barriers being erected for the inauguration of the President the following day. But a helpful policeman pointed us in the other direction, and off we went to find the beer!

The run itself was relatively short, measured at around 6Km, with a great ratio of beer to Kms, and before we knew it we were back at the Bar, and an Indoor Circle in the Back Room, hosted by the Chicken Canary, Ivor! New shoes were spotted, and drunk from, down downs for race shirts, and an ode to our departing GM family was penned and read out by Mr Mum. We were introduced to our new Incoming GM, Footsie, and this joint BA Hash, and the First ever Gran Canaria Hash, (we had to humour Ivor!), was brought to a conclusion so that the Pizza's could be served, and ample beer poured down our necks. A great night, but not quite the end of Ivor and BB's......

And so, we moved to the Xmas Hash, and number 558, hosted by the New GM Footsie, and Party Pants, and a great crowd gathered for the run. All I can say about the run itself, (I walked!), was that the Beer Stops were noticeable by their absence, and the weather was superb for the day, with the sun cracking the flags, thanks to the hard work of the RA in ensuring this.... We did have two firsts today, with a Roller Blading Hasher, and a backwards ran Hash, with Just Michael, from Kilkenny, arriving a little late, and locating the trail, but in reverse, and so commenced to run the entire hash from Finish to Start!

A presentation was made to Suck a Duck, who was reaching the incredible Milestone of her 300th Hash here in BsAs, only the second Hasher to achieve that here, and she still looks so young! (Ed's note - Creep!).

The real fun (well, fun to those watching at least!) came in the circle. Many down downs were inflicted upon the pack, with many visitors, first timers, and the Irish out in force, and finally we came down to naming of two Hashers. Just Jacqueline, in her tenth, and last for the time being at least, Hash here in BsAs, due to her return to the UK, was named as Jack It Off, followed by Just Howard, who, being a Nottingham Forrest fan, and liking a drink (well, he is a Hasher!), was named as Forrest Drunk! Whilst the trail may have seen sparse flour, we now realised why, as Doon Doon and Footsie managed to locate the National stockpile for Forrest, saving some for the finale of the Circle......

Despite having the Despedida Hash the previous week, they still hadn't left!, so we took the opportunity of calling Ivor and Beautiful Bristols to the centre of the circle, where they were presented with gifts from the Hash to commemorate their years of service, and beer drinking, to the Hash, along with Hand of God receiving his 100th Hash Mug - Not bad for a 6 year old! A great future ahead for him!

As for Ivor and BB - The flour that was left over (around 3 kilo's I believe) was duly administered to the pair of them, and they certainly enjoyed a White Christmas. It was quite an emotional day for all concerned, and as the author of these Hash Trashes (not sure if anyone actually reads them), I would like to express my own best wishes for the First Hash Family on their departure to pastures new off the coast of Africa, and the Islas Canarias, and hope that in time to come, we will cross shiggy again, maybe in that Gran Canaria Hash they will no doubt have up and running by the end of January!

On On - And a very Happy Christmas to one and all, and we look forward to seeing you on New Years day for Hash Number 559, with full details available after you have enjoyed your Christmas Pudding this weekend.

Hash Trash #556 - Avellaneda in the sun

Sunday morning broke with the sun cracking the flags when the Host Hare, Yours truly!, left the starting point at 8 am to start laying trail. It was already a hot day, and clearly, once again, the RA had come through on his promise of a beautiful day. After laying the first part of the trail, Pussy Galore arrived to assist with the rest of the laying of flour, having popped out to get some beer, along with out Chef Hare, Tongue y Lingus, owing to the unfortunate situation resulting in no Beer Drays available on the day. There was an early problem, with a power outage meaning that Ice had to be bought to keep the beer cold, but Hashers are always able to get around any problem that arises.

Hashers gathered, with most arriving on time, but Just Howard was having problems with his GPS, and frantic telephone calls were being made as TyL tried to talk him in. For some reason he was finding Autopistas where autopistas shouldn't be, but after the Hare Talk was extended to explain to our virgins and visitors the markings, finally Just H arrived, and the Hash was off and running - Well, walking if the truth be known at this point!

Pussy Galore had lost her map, and despite questions before we set off, nobody owned up, until at the first check point - Open Cola was seen to be checking a piece of paper - The first hash Crime of the day emerged, and PG was reunited with her guide to where we going!

A couple of early checks kept people together(ish), and the first kilometre or so was uneventful, although the FRB's need to remember to make the checks when they locate the right trail, as the walkers were delayed with some false trails after the runners had scooted off.

A trip around El Tano Parilla to allow the enjoyment of the smell of asado roasting away, and crossing Belgrano by the fountains, led the pack to the Exercise Bars. Sadly no pictures were taken here, but climbing frames, balance beams, and parallel bars were negotiated by the Pack, with the Hares in close attention to ensure compliance with the trail, as the arrows were directly over the exercise equipment. Once successfully through this part, a short straght run saw the welcome sight of the first Beer Stop, and shade was enjoyed alongside the murals along the road.

After suitable replenishment, the pack were off, carefully crossing the road, and heading towards Sarandi Station. now, if the wise had been aware, a quick jump on the train to the next station would have saved a lot of running, but the pack were heads down and away, led by Qualified Semen, with Two Secs, Fill My Hole, Open Cola and his better half, El Diablo in hot pursuit, along with Just Claudia (getting close to being named now!), Just Jim, Viagra Spices on a welcome return visit from New York, and visiting unnamed Hasher, Just Rachel from Wisconsin, and two welcome returnees, last seen at the Hash in Colonia earlier this year, Patricia and Edwardo (I hope I have that right!), and Just Sebastian and Just Samuel also in that leading bunch - A very Healthy macho Pack.

The Macho/Wimp split took the Front Pack down a side ginnel (Ed's note - North of England word for alley!), and back onto Mitre. Here the Hare apologises for making a long straight run in the sun, but eventually, the pack arrived at the parque in Villa Dominico, and a circumnavigation took place, running passed the Bird Market, and a few parilla's cooking away at Sunday Lunch.

Meanwhile the Wimps were strolling in the sun, with Fossil Fuck running back and forward to check on the whereabouts of Just Howard and Family, who were bringing up the rear (and short-cutting!), and looking forward to the Second promised Beer Stop.

The Welcomed Beer Stop was upon us, and the walkers and Front Runners arrived simultaneously, and enjoyed teh refreshment, before setting off for the final short On In. However, after waiting a few more minutes, there was no sign of a number of Hashers who had been Front Running, so The Mobile Beer Stop set off to try and locate the missing Hashers - A few blocks away, the clan was gathered, and an inpromtu Beer Stop was had, but still Mr Mom was missing... Driving back to base, he was spotted waving at a tree!, and another Hash Crime was to be reported.

Thankfully, everyone made it back to the house, and a quick dash to buy more beer, and thankfully the electricity had been restored, and the circle went up to the roof garden, where the sun was beating down, and a special dispensation was given to allow for caps to stay on heads in the circle, mainly to protect the follically challenged amongst us! Many crimes were reported, with Fossil Fuck denying everything, even when he was down-downed for reaching Hash Number 69!

Roger the Cabin Boy sipped his way to the longest Down Down ever seen, Viagra Spices donated a hash Shirt from Brooklyn to Open Colas Better half, and thanks to the generosity of Edwardo and Patricia, we had some Quilmes Mugs to give away to worthy hashers.

Two very later arrivals were suitably punished, turning up at 10 to 2!, Just Delfina, and a virgin Just Josefina, who's excuse had been running the Lan 10K that morning - but fair play to them for coming along - They must have heard about the cooking, and once the circle concluded, it was downstairs and Chef Tongue y Lingus had prepared a wonderful concoction of Chorizo cooked in a Portuguesa Salsa - (Chori All the Way especially liked this!). It must have been enjoyed, because although there was plenty to go around, and many seconds were had, by the end of the hash there was none left - and compliments to the chef were ringing out.

The photographs from this hash are linked from the earlier post, and hopefully everyone had a great time south of the city in Avellaneda, and everyone got home safely. See you all at the next hash, the Special Despedida for our GM and Family as they prepare to part these shores for adventure in the Canaries! (They would have enjoyed the Parque today, as there were lots of canaries singing to be sold in the market!). Full details for this will be published ASAP - The date for your diary is this Friday coming - December 9th! In the San Telmo area.... More to follow........


Hash Trash #554 & #555 - The Carilo Hawaiian Weekend

The dust has finally settled, and the weekend of the BAH3's 555th run is now a memory, and a set of photographs sitting in numerous cameras around Argentina (and maybe in St Louis and New York as well!).

The weekend started for many with the drive down Route 2 from Buenos Aires on Friday afternoon, with some having left earlier in the week and making the weekend into a family vacation. Yours truly and Tongue y Lingus traveled down with Pussy Galore and Chori All The Way, arriving in the wonderful Alpine(ish) Hamlet of Carilo just before 9 on Friday. A few margaritas (Ed's Note - Glad to see that alcohol started early!) later, and a call to Windy Culo was made to find where the Friday Pre-Lube Party was taking place.... Clearly it had been going on for some hours as directions were difficult to acquire, so a sensible decision was taken to hit he sack early and be ready for the weekend.

Saturday morning saw the sun shining brightly, with the temperatures climbing as the morning progressed. We had been joined overnight in our cabin by Shuffled Around, Open Cola and Just Veronica, with Stop In My Sex Pit due to arrive by lunchtime - But the beach was calling, and the intrepid hashsers went for a paddle(Ed's Note - Was that piddle?), in the freezing Atlantic, whilst enjoying the summer sun. The beach was busy with the temperatures having brought more than the Hash to Carilo a week before the holiday weeeknd and everyone smiling and enjoying life.

Hash #554

After lunch it was time to get down to business and prepare for Hash Number 554. Fill My Hole had steeped in with Beautiful Bristols to lay the trail, and as the Hash gathered, some old faces, Kermit and Miss Piggy were around, and even a virgin Just Clau Dia had come along, with two visiting Americans arriving just as we set off, 2FuckCanuck and Funny BoneHer from the Big Hump Hash in St Louis. The trail followed the forest paths, sandy roads and into the sand dunes that Carilo is famous for. The weather did give an appearance of changing for the worse, but the RA made a call upstairs and the rain held off until the runs were complete.

One feature of this run was the novel concept of a rolling beer stop - With the GM sidelined from running, he set out as Beer Stop Master, and after the first BS, he drove a few hundred yards down the road, and set up again, welcomed by the Wimps, as the Macho Runners went off on their hard run. Four Beer Stops later we were back at the house for the Circle, with the weather breaking, and the Circle taking place indoors, in the quincha - a wonderful way of keeping everyone under control as there was nowhere for people to slide off too.... Numerous Down Downs were delivered, with Beer Masters (existing and past) getting the brunt of things, along with far too much Sex on Trail, and Pussy Galore and Chori All The Way were given a Special Down Down for their impersonation of Wayne's World on the Drive Down (Ed's Note - Bohemian Rhapsody head Banging - Watch the Film for cultural reference!). Tongue y Lingus reached her 25 Milestone, and was presented with her T to mark the occasion. After a rendition of Swing Low lead by visiting Canuck 2 Fuck, we headed back to the cabins to get changed into Fancy Dress for the Hawaii 555 Oh No! Party.......

The Party....

As all good hashers know - What Happens in Carilo, Stays in Carilo! But, we must pay homage to Ivor The Engine and his culinary skills at cooking some wonderful meat on the parilla - The meat fell away and melted on the tongue, and was delicious. Added to that was Wire Me Baby's Mixology skills in making Pina Coladas (Ed's Note - Don't they drink Mai Tai's in Hawaii?), and flowing beer. The grass skirts were flowing, lei's were everywhere, and the Hawaii 5-0 Police force arrived in numbers, with Pussy Galore, Chori and Cum on Me Face Full suitably attired, with Cums In Class arriving in handcuffs.... (Ed'd Note - Had she rushed out after getting changed?).

Suffice to say the dancing got more energetic as the night progressed, and the beer and Pina's took effect, with the twist, the macarena, and quite a few more unusual dance moves, seen, along with the accompanying lightning and lashing rain - But we were indoors, so who cared! Fair to say that everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and long into the night we partied, before heading to our beds with thoughts of Hash Number 555 in the morning.

Hash #555

Sunday morning - again the sun was cracking the flags, and despite a few sore heads, everyone (with the exception of our friends from St Louis), managed to turn up for the unveiling of the Special 555 celeste shirts made for the occassion (see Photos!), and once again Fill My Hole had been up early (Ed'd Note - Or maybe he hadn't been to bed!), and trail was set. Normally the Sunday run on a weekend away would be a hangover hash, but as this was 555, it was a full blown run, with no rest for the wicked. The Hare made great use of the Checks to keep the pack together as we ran through the shopping and restaurant area, before heading to the beach and the sand dunes to get a wonderful view across the beach to Pinamar and beyond. More Sex on Trail was witnessed, including Kermit and Stop In My Sex Pit, and Open Cola not learning the lessons of the previous day!

Although, in good hashing tradition, this RA sees nothing wrong with Hashers speeding up when approaching a Beer Stop, penalties of down downs were later administered to my good self (Ed's Note - Since when has the RA been good?) and Chori All The Way for racing to the Beer Stop, a race won by Chori, with sharpened elbows! After the Beer Stop, the machos went their separate ways, ably led by Fill the Hare, and those of us without the worst hangovers took the chance of a morning run, although the hare was suitably chastised for leading us to a Check Back 22, all the way to the Beer Stop, where a short three block jog brought is back for the circle.

The run was over, the circle commenced, and once again, the Beer Masters were suitably force fed beer, and at one point the Beer Masters Wives had to imbibe. Shuffled Around faced a down down for being so famous, that a street in Carilo, Maca, is named after her, with Miss Piggy showing her tendencies to kleptomania for the second day running, in confusing her Beer Mug with Beautiful Bristols', having misappropriated Ivor's on Saturday.

All in all, a wonderful weekend, which sadly had to draw to close as the pizzas arrived, and 555 was but a fond memory. The hashers wandered off into the sunset, and many started to look forward to 556 in Avellaneda (Ed'd Note - Not quite as romantic as Carilo me thinks!!!!)


Hash Trash #553 - Belgrano and a Full Moon

Been a little slow in getting the Hash Trash written this week, as investigations were continuing into the mysterious disappearance of the Hash Mugs after the run, or to be honest, I had a stonking hangover on Monday, and busy since. But, better late than never, and last Sunday, the sun was shining brightly, sun screen was duly applied, and Cum on My Face Full and Cums In Class were waiting somewhere in Belgrano, although not sure if it was the place on the map, but Hashers are a notoriously intelligent bunch, (Ed's note - Some mistake there!), and before the advertised time, a motley crew had got together, with a welcome visitor, Mother Ducker, from the US and a virgin or two, one local, and one german, so once again the Hash extended it's multi-national welcome to one and all.

After a Hare Talk which confused everyone, including the hares, we set off with Cums in Class leading the way, as we set about the adventure climbing part of the trail, alongside the main road, with ups and downs beside bridges, and Mother Docker managing a Papal Impersonation as he hit the deck as he tried to cross the road and kissed the asphalt! Thankfully nothing injured, except a touch of pride, and the Hash went on its merry way.

Far too many checks were evident, unfortunately, these were checks of the traffic as we crossed the roads, as the world shortage of flour had resulted in a lack of Hash Checks, although there were a few Check Backs which resulted in some cursing from the FRB's, and remarkably, the pack did manage to find a well located Beer Stop, which did seem to last longer than usual. Hand of God was spotted racing with Ivor the Engine to the beer stop, which would be OK under normal circumstances, however HOG is only 6! (Ed's note - A good age to start on the beer?).

The macho/wimp split allowed the running Hashers to get some exercise, while the rest of the pack ambled back to the meeting point, with the sun beating down, although Beautiful Bristols was heard to remark that she was feeling chilly, with the temperatures around the 25 degree mark, she has become far too acclimatised to Argentina! The rest of the pack were sun-bathing!

The circle ensued, and Ivor The Engine was "Milestoned" for completing his 250th Hash with the Buenos Aires Hash, a notable achievement, becoming the Third Hasher to reach this Milestone in Buenos Aires, which defies his youthful looks (Ed's Note: - Brown Nosing!). With Hand of God penalised for Beer Chasing, and for reasons I cannot recall, the Argentine Hashers giving us a tuneful rendition of the Argentine National Anthem (Ed's Note: Tuneful????????), the Circle was a huge success. Mother Ducker, in true US Style, declined to tell a joke, but instead treated us to a song from Pittsburgh Hash, along with a Full Moon!

The circle went in pieces, and Choripan and Chips arrived, and were devoured, along with a fair amount of beer, before the Hash drifted off with thoughts of summer runs, and warm days ahead. Subsequently it was discovered that some of the Hash Mugs may have inadvertently ended up in the wrong bag, and if anyone found a few mugs in their bag when they got home, Inspector Knacker of Scotland Yard is seeking clues - anonymity will be assured - and a reward of a Down Down will be granted, so any information can be sent via the Confidential Hot Line (Ed's Note - That means E-Mail). On to hash #555 at Carilo over the weekend of Nov 19/20th, and a weekend filled with fun and frolics in grass skirts and flowery shirts, and a Hash Run or Two!


Hash Trash #552 - Halloween Hash

Be Afraid, be very afraid.

At least, the quiet Sunday afternoon being enjoyed by the residents of Laguna Del Sol certainly was disturbed, and no doubt the hordes of witches and warlocks that descended, made quite a few people run for their lives and be afraid as the Halloween Hash turned up for their annual Fright Night.

Once again, the weather was wonderful as the many hashers that made their way to Doon Doon and Bad Flys humble abode, arrived for the late afternoon run, number 552 in the BsAs Hash Calendar. With the summer fast approaching, it was great to see old faces who have been unavailable over the cooler months, and lots of the young hashers entering into the spirit of Halloween. As Halloween is not a big holiday here in Argentina, I am sure many people in the locality were a little surprised and wondering what was going on, but smiles abounded as we set off after a hare talk in Spanglish from Doon Doon, and promptly managed to get lost straight away.

With the hash taking place on a Private Estate, the roads were generally free from traffic, and the checks were greeted with glee as Harriers and Harrietes searched out the true trail, and more importantly, would get us to the first beer stop before the sun turned the face paint into runny goo..... (Ed's note - See Pics, didn't work!). With the RA surprisingly out sprinting El Diablo to be first to the beer stop (Ed's note - You should see him move at Last Orders!), the pack re-assembled and enjoyed Isenbeck, before setting off on the second leg of their task, to find the second beer stop.

The second beer stop was in the picturesque setting of the lake in the centre of the estate, and more beer flowed, before the pack, with the Virgin Sebastian up at the front (Ed's note - He'll learn!), smartly followed by El Diablo, Two Secs and Good Service, and the RA still hanging in there, along with new hashers we picked up along the way, as the local children joined in for quite some distance before realising we were still running away - or more likely when someone stated that El Diablo ate little kids at Halloween!

Before we knew it, we were back at base and prepared for a long circle with many returnees, virgins and new arrival Victim and his good lady, who we hope to see more of in the future. We also had to select the Biggest Down Downs for the Which Witch is Which competition, as we had a lot of witches out on the run, including Good Service, Bad Fly, Party Pants, Red Hot Chilli, Tongue y Lingus & Shuffled Around, as well as the award for Least Scary of the day - We won't embarass anyone by saying that Easy Rides Her had made such an effort he won handsomely in the male category for Least Scary, but the Witches Award was a hung decision, and despite the RA's efforts to test out the theory of the dunking stool in the swimming pool, we let them all off with a handsome amount of beer instead.

There was one highly charged milestone with Wire Me Baby reaching his 1-69th Hash which was celebrated in the traditional way, upside down, and naturally there were some excellent spooky gags from the RA (Ed's note - He keeps trying - unfortunately!). We managed to lose one of the younger hashers who had gone off Trick or Treating, so we cut short the Circle to go and find him (he found his own way back anyway), so we were unable to pass judgement on our own Trick or Treater, Just Claudia, who had made quite an impression, with her specially designed outfit for the day. I will leave the readers to judge the merits.

Mention must be made of the On Afters, as Doon Doon and Bad Fly did the Hash proud with a wonderful parilla, delicious meat, and the vampire fangs certainly got their teeth stuck into the food. And so, as the sun had gone down, and the witching hour approached, the witches got their broomsticks out and headed home, and the black cats sat watching as we all departed from another great day out with the BA Hash House Harriers.


Hash Trash #551 - The French Trip

Sunday, October 23rd, was the day that the Buenos Aires Hash House Harriers went to France - Or at least that's what nearly happened when, yours truly, looked up which train I needed to get to our host hares house for the day. Apparently, when I checked on line, to get to Boulogne, you need to get a train from Paris Nord station. Well, having consulted Air France's timetable, I thought I might be heading in the wrong direction, and although I knew that Just Howard does have a long trip when he comes out Frinking with the Hashers on Fridays, I realised I might have the wrong Boulogne, and so it was to Retiro Station I headed, taking the Red Train (not quite the TGV), and arriving at "our" Boulogne.

Despite the Presidential Elections, a healthy turn out of Hashers arrived, and no phone calls from France were received with lost Hashers. Virgins, Greg (from La Puerta Roja), Chris (from LA), and Josh (from Keynsham, UK), all managed to locate us, and a little late, as we were waiting for Windy Culo to arrive (Ed's note - No Change there!), we set off. The beer stop was remarkably early, so as to allow everyone to sample the Quilmes Beer that the Beer Master, Wire Me Baby, had especially bought for the occasion, (Ed's note - What that means is he forgot to get the Isenbeck Hash Beer, and had to grab what was left in his local supermercado!).

The Wimps/Macho split soon emerged, and unfortunately, due to car GPS's not being accurate, it left a relatively short Wimps Trail, which did have the advantage of the Walkers arriving back before the Macho's. The FRB's, lead by our Racist Runner, Just Mike (He likes to wear race T-Shirts, we must get him a hash shirt!), swiftly followed by El Diablo, the GM Ivor, and Two Secs, with Qualified Semen and Windy Culo, not requiring to be Medivac'd from the course today, following close behind. Some Hash Views were in evidence, with the Argentine Armies One Tank on display, along with Mother and newly born Foal (Ed's note - Just to get an Arghhhhhh!), and a rather unusual Hash View, that no Hasher has ever seen before after a Saturday Night out, which I will leave to your imagination, but it may have involved carrots and peas, and Hughie!

A relatively short run ensued, but a fine head of sweat was showing as the lead pack returned to base, and a lively circle ensued, with many a down down, and wonderful jokes from the RA,(Ed's note - YEH YEH YEH!!!), followed by Pizza's and copious amounts of beer, given that there were no bars open in the afternoon to head off too. Good Service clocked up her 327th Hash here, which given she still looks so young, she must have started when she was a baby!

Many thanks to our Virgin Greg, who invited the stragglers back to his bar later for Chilli Bombs, which brought colour to my cheeks, and the 551st run by the BAH3 came to a close.


Hash Trash #550 - The not the BA Marathon Hash

Another sunny day was promised by the RA for the 550th BsAs Hash, and as it was Columbus Day this week, the hares, Old Hag and Mr Mum, highlighted some special Columbus Checks before the ragged pack set off. Just as we were heading to check out the trail, the GM got a text message from Windy Culo, who had been running his first,(Ed's note... "And last"), Marathon that morning in Buenos Aires. Cramp had caught up at Km 32 and he had been Medivaced off the course by motorbike, and whilst the hashers offered sympathy in their usual way (Ed's note - You mean they laughed a lot!), down downs will be made available when next Windy returns.

Onwards the hash went, leaving the urban Plaza San Martin, and heading in a different direction to previous hashes from this area. Checks were found and hashers lost (No change there), but the trail was plentiful, and with the FRB's heading off swiftly, the pack strung out into three or four groups, before catching up at the checks. At one point, the GM and the RA, along with virgin Just Si, Foxy Lady and Hand of God, thought they could become Film Extras, as a film location unit was shooting something or other near Plaza de Mayo, but star status would have to wait, as the Beer Stop was calling - Hash Priorities!

Unknown to many (Ed - You mean the RA wasn't aware!), but there is a statue to Columbus sitting in the gardens of the Casa Rosada, and whilst he may not be as popular in Argentina as in other parts of the Americas, the Beer Stop was held in his honour, glasses were charged, and Columbus was officially named a hasher!

The pack moved into Puerto Madero, as usual getting strange looks from the tourists and locals alike, not to mention the Prefectura. Calatrava had his bridge crossed and the pack started to head back towards Plaza San Martin and the circle. And it was to be an interesting circle. Just Claudia was obviously sporting new shoes, and as an experienced hasher in Dubai, really should have known better... Naturally she was made to imbibe for this crime against fashion, and Just Ramiro assisted with the other foot!..... Virgins were welcomed, Just Si and his wife Just Jo. Rugby was mentioned, and swiftly forgotten by the English, Irish and Argentine hashsers, and of course, this was the first week we had a Welsh Hasher! And the highlight of the circle, aside from the fantastic jokes from the RA, (Ed's note - "Yeh Right!"), was a naming ceremony for Just Peg, who will be leaving our shores at Yuletide, but has been around a while and deserved a naming. Many were put forward, and debate ensued, but her laugh for Weiners seemed to prevail, and from henceforth (Ed - "Swallowed a dictionary?") she will be known as "Chori All The Way" - and was suitably baptised in the usual way.

The circle was blessed and went in pieces, and we retired to eat at the hares splendid apartment, where we had been teased with masturbating food suggestions, which turned out to be a wonderful pulled pork recipe - which was enjoyed by all. Another successful hash was completed, and all went away from the sunny day with a smile on their face, and a full stomach! - ON ON

Hash Trash #549 - The First Hash of Spring

Spring was in the air, or Primavera as it is here, and a beautiful sunny day welcomed us to San Isidro and Rodger the Cabin Boy and Red Hot Chilli were ready and waiting for us at the sporty location, where, if you were disinclined to run, you could while away the time watching the tennis next door, or the horse riding across the road.

Visitors were arriving, or in the case of a Hasher from Hawaii (Rabid Gazelle), not so much arriving as losing all sense of direction. eventually, after a number of panting phone calls, he was located by Windy Culo, heading back to the Capital (ironically actually on trail, although he wasn't aware of that for an hour or more!), who also managed to find Fossil Fuck on his taxi travels, and a little late, after all had gathered (with the exception of the GM who was watching rugby) we set off, with the said GM arriving by bike as we headed off towards the railway lines, with meticulous diagrams drawn by Rodger the Cabin Boy to set us on our way.

We soon headed up as a pack towards the cathedral and market place, with steps to climb, along with somewhat different check signs, with the new creation of a multi-directional check mark, which confused us even more than usual (Ed's note... Not hard to do that to Hashers!). A rotunda was found, and subsequently lost again, and the pack split up into varying degrees of ability (Ed's note... Surely you mean Inability?!), and the sun beat down upon the pack as it meandered through the Streets of London (Sorry, just listening to Ralph McTell there!), San Isidro.

Libertador was crossed, and re-crossed by those of us off trail, and finally the pack headed back towards the river, with Tit Climber, Two Secs, Just Mike, from BA via Kilkenny, on his first Hash, along with Just Brad form New Orleans, also losing his virginity, among the leading lights. The path along the Tren de la Costa was a long 1.2 Km straight line, but good for a steady run, and with many of the Hashers having stayed up all night to watch the rugby, it was a final chance to blow away the lack of sleep before the On In and the Circle. The sun also was taking it's toll on people, with the English Rose Just Jack, turning lobster like as the first sun of spring burnt away, but glad to report that all made it back for the festivities of the Circle.

Numerous down downs were given, not least for the perfect trail, and the main victims/instigators from the Interloper hash (see previous Hash Trash), Ivor, Tit Climber and Fossil Fuck, were all rewarded for their efforts. Just Mike had been nominated by Windy who had to go and do more taxi work, to act as his designated drinker, and poor Mike had to suffer the number of incursions that Windy had (as usual) made.

A re-naming took place, as due to the events at hash number 548, it was felt appropriate that Tit Climber should be re-named to El Diablo, and his baptism was carried out in the usual way, blessed by Holy Beer from the RA. The Circle came to an end with a rousing rendition of Allouette, lead by Footsie in fine style, with some new mimes thrown in for good measure, and finally the RA let the Circle go in Pieces, and the food and drink flowed as another successful, sunny, Hash came to an end.



Hash Trash #548 - The One with The Interloper!

Another spring time sunny day was upon us, and the Hash descended upon Recoleta, where our resident Hare, Tit Climber, ably assisted by Stop in my Sex Pit and virgin layer Just Jacqui (who can't remember her hash name from Bangalore!), and doesn't like being called Jacqui, were in attendance. Despite the added attraction (or was that dis-traction?) of the Buenos Aires Half marathon, which had stolen away Windy Culo for the morning, the Racist Windy managing a very credible 1:45:13 and finishing in 2,767th place, and Fill My Hole clocking 1:36:48, some 1700 places ahead in 1071st (Ed.notes... Stop with all this race reporting!).

Despite the host of emails concerned about road closures for the race, a very healthy crowd gathered in from of the Palais de Glace, and nobody seemed to be held up arriving, even the GM managed to make it without a GPS hand from Windy's Monkey Spanker, so all was set for the Hash to start on the weekend that the Rugby World Cup was starting (more of that later!)....

The trail was exceptionally well marked, too well for many as it meant little rest time at check points, and a start near the market in Recoleta naturally had to head towards the cemetery and around the market place. Tourists were staring as the pack, ably lead by Two Secs, Qualified Semen and Foxy Lady, dashed through the BA Design Centre, before heading around the back of the cemetery and into embassy land. Naturally the Hash went up and down every flight of steps that was available - For those who thought Buenos Aires was flat, Think Again when Tit Climber lays trail! He manages to find every incline in the city. This was not good news for Beautiful Bristols, making a welcome return to the Hash, but with her bad knee, utilizing a bike, which had to be carried up and down the stone steps....

very soon, the pack were basking in the sun, and finding the first beer stop, where the hares had provided plenty of beer to replenish the souls, although, once again, the slower pack members managed to avoid the Beer Stop, leaving the macho's to enjoy ample beverage, and the Virgin Just Ramiro (Ed Note - He owns a bar - what a perfect hasher!), was feeling the pace, and enjoying the beer.

Off the pack headed again, and on Libertador there was the usual split, allowing the Macho's to head off to the Club de Amigos and an extended run for them, while the wimps managed to get completely lost (Ed... AGAIN!!!!), but smelling the second beer stop, were able to pick up trail again just before the metal flower at the Plaza de Unidad Nacions, and leap into the parque for the last refill. Amazingly the wimps beat the machos, and then the lost walkers discovered us as well, so the pack were altogether again, and a couple of loops for the machos and a crossing over the bridge saw the pack almost all finishing together back at the Palais de Glace.

The sun was still high in the sky, and the circle commenced with the GM welcoming returnees and Virgins alike, with a good number of new faces, and some old ones too that have been finding it hard to avoid the hangovers from Saturdays in recent months! (Ed... You know who you are!). The new Hymn sheets were delivered, and using the latest microscope technology, even some of the ageing hashers were able to read the 4 point font size, and songs were sang and beer flowed. It's usually at this point that the Hash Trash comes to an end, but we were in for a different ending to the day, and the Rugby World Cup sprang to mind.

Fro some reason unknown to us all, as the Post Hash Empenadas had been dispatched, the last of the beer disappearing into the Hashers Bellys, and people starting to head away, A Cry was heard, heads turned and an Interloper, (El Loco),ran straight into the crowd - Heading for Tit Climber, yelling DIABLO! DIABLO!! pushing aside Hashers and arms flaying, seemed vent on Tit Climber's shirt... It was at this point that I got a good view of what was happening, and our erstwhile GM, displaying the tackling skills that had been lacking from the England teams weak victory on Saturday, flew into action, taking out El Loco, straight to the floor. Just Ramiro ran to assist with Tit Climber sitting on his legs, while shouts of Policia rang out from the crowd, the tourists and locals of Recoleta looked on at the commotion. Fossil Fuck added his foot to the neck of our friend, and we awaited the arrival of the Federales.

I guess we will never know what caused the interruption, but it appeared the Union Flag on Tit Climbers Hash Shirt might have been the red rag to the bull. Naturally with all us gringos on the Hash it is one of the Argentine Hashers who was wearing the flag, and El Loco obviously didn't think too clearly, given the rugby skills of our Hashers. The Policia came, first one on a bike, then a Sergeant, followed by a car, and a couple more - El Loco was handcuffed, laying on his belly on the grass, and the seven Policia spoke to those around. After a few minutes, an ambulance arrived, as clearly El Loco was just that, a little crazy, and two orderlies got out of the ambulance, the first smoking a ciggie as she walked up to the Police, hand-shakes all round, and at one point, we expected the mate to come out as everyone seemed to forget the guy in handcuffs.... If he had been half awake, he could have rolled away at this point and made his escape, and nobody would have been any wiser..... He was taken away in the ambulance, along with a police escort, and normal service was resumed.

An unexpected ending to the day, but thankfully nobody was hurt, and it has meant that I got to write a lot more in the Hash Trash. ON ON to the next hash on Sept 25th, and full details for the event will be posted next week for your delight....



Hash Trash #547 - The One with Great Directions

Once again the RA was true to his word and the weather was absolutely fantastic for the Hash. With rain on Saturday, things were looking dodgy, but Sunday morning saw the sun shining, and the hares, Just Claudia and Tit Climber were off bright and early laying copious amounts of flour around Caballito (unfortunately not actually on the trail though!). Sun tan oil was required, rather than winter woolies, and the hashers began to arrive under the statue of Simon Bolivar in Parque Rivadavia, thanks to the wonderful directions that had been issued by the hares.

There were quite a few new faces, and some welcome returnees, with a visitor from Washington DC (Uno, Dos, Tres - Lift Off), two new arrivals from Mexico, via New Delhi (No Problem!, and Yes, Problem!) and Just Ian who hashed in the Middle East in the past, along with the cousin of Stop in My Sex Pit. Doon Doon made a welcome return after the winter holidays, and, despite having difficulty in locating Buenos Aires, or reading maps, the GM, Ivor the Engine, made it to the parque, having called up a local navigator, Windy's Monkey Spanner to assist his way. (No comment as to how our Washington visitor, having only been in the city for 24 hours managed to find her way there with no problem, while the GM, having lived here 11 years, had an issue!).....

With a healthy pack, obviously enjoying the weather, we set off in search of flour, and immediately got lost! Clearly the National Flour shortage was in evidence on the first few blocks, but hashers are a resourceful lot, and after much gnashing of teeth and soul-searching (Ed. Surely you mean Flour-searching?), the trail took off, with some fine running, with Drums In Class leading the way, strangely also with one of the hares front-running, and Foxy Lady dragging along whoever would hold the lead.

Once again the Electric Works was circled, bringing back memories of Hash Number 544 when we got completely lost, but this time we made it through, and found more flour, before searching hard for the first of two Beer Stops - Just what the doctor ordered, and suitably refreshed the pack split, and the machos found Parque Irlanda, while the wimps went off on their own, thanks to a taxi locating them - YES, Tit Climber had to resort to vehicular support to find the lost ones, but locate them he did, and everyone managed to find Parque Centenario, and the second Beer Stop. It was just before this point that Windy's Monkey Spanner and Just Damian (Our new Aussie who's name I got wrong last time out, calling him Daniel {I was close!}) went their own way, missing the Beer Stop, and heading straight back to the starting point, ignoring flour as they talked shop.....

After a healthy day out enjoying stretching the legs in Caballito, the pack regrouped, but not before Fossil Fuck was propositioned on his way into the parque, and we located those that had gone off for a coffee, as against a stroll in the sun, and with ample amounts of down downs for varying offences, some fantastic jokes from the RA (Ed... Some mistake there I think!), the pack laughed in the sun, attracting the attention of parque dwellers, drank beer, and then enjoyed Milanesa Sandwiches with fries, before heading off into the sunset, with the GM asking for directions home!




Hash Trash - # 546 - The Day of the Primaries

Sunday, August 14th, and the first time that Argentine Voters have gone to the Primaries to pre-elect their President - At least that's what I think they were doing. But the Buenos Aires Hash House Harriers were not to be trifled with a little thing like an election, and on a glorious Spring Like Day, the hares, Up Chuck No Fuck and Inspect Her Assets, had been out early in the Belgrano district laying an intriguing set of trails for the Harriers.

Given the elections, and the word that it could take up to twelve hours to vote here - Choices, choices.... we didn't know what to expect by way of numbers. The hares hoped that the proximity to the northern barrios would lead to around the 20 mark, however, the Beer Master, Wire My Baby, had erred on the lower side, and had only brought one crate of beer with him, (down downs at future hashes for him, we were not going to waste the limited beer on him this week!!!!) expecting a low turnout. But, like the elections, it's mandatory to run with the Hash, and with the sun cracking the flags, the numbers who congregated at Lisandro de La Torre station swelled to a healthy 22 + Perro Caliente (a dog in case you are wondering!), and a little after the designated time, the pack were off, and getting lost immeadiately.....

The first section of trail saw a number of embassies being circled, notably the German Embassy, and although we had no Germans on the trail, the falsies that were all found by the pack, ensured that the security guards must have felt as though they were being invaded as the pack went past three or four times - who were we running from? Numerous False Trails had been set by the hares, and for once, all were found by the pack, which does give a sense of satisfaction to the hares, as there is nothing worse than the pack ignoring the hard work and guessing the right way! Thailand, Malaysia, Poland and probably a few more embassies were passed, but the zig-zagging pack stayed on trail until Parque Belgrano was located, and naturally, where there were steps to climb, the hares had laid trail in that direction, with a circular route through the Parque, which was rewarded with a nice little beer stop to relieve the runners.

Windy Culo, along with Perro Caliente, were showing great form, and the leading pack was supplemented by an experienced hasher newly arrived to Buenos Aires, Daniel Patrick Kelly (I will learn how to spell & pronounce the hash name one day), with Tit Climber, Two Secs, Just Claudia, the Beer Master himself (he's getting remarkably quick these days!) and Viagra Spices from New York, closely followed to this juncture by Footsie and yours truly, all enjoying the Isenbeck on a warm day. The fact that the leading pack had found all the falsies meant that the walkers caught up quickly at this point, and suitably refreshed all set off on the second part of the trail.

A split took place just after the Beer Stop, and the macho runners enjoyed (well, that may not be quite the word!) a long run around Belgrano, and the rest of the pack
took in the site of the old plane (anyone who knows what this is - please tell), before the trails joined up again for a trip through Barrio Chino, or Chinatown, which was thronged with people, but the trail was just about still visible, with Footise recommending restaurants as we passed. A few more twists and turns saw us across Libertador, and the Golf Club loomed up and the urban landscape swiftly changed to green.

For those who wanted to stretch their legs out, the final few kilometres of the trail took them passed the golf club and around the lake, before turning back towards the BA Tennis Club and the On In, with the Wimps Trail undercutting the lake, resulting in the lead pack and the walkers arriving back within a few minutes of each other.

The circle took place in the Parque Bolivia adjoining the station, and with the sun really getting warmth on our backs for the first time in a while, a boistrous circle was held, with numerous down downs for malfractions, including cross dressing between Tit Climber and Two Secs, Business on Trail between Windy and Viagra, and inability to use technology from Roger The Cabin Boy, who along with Red Hot Chilli had been late arrivals. We welcomed the Kelly Family to BA, with the above mentioned Daniel accompanied by his lovely wife and girls, and two visiting Virgins, who despite not knowing each other, both came from Montreal, Canada... Will they ever return?

The circle concluded and we retreated to the Chori-Shack for some delightful food, and those who care to say that there is no spicy food in Buenos Aires should take a trip down to the shack by the station, as the tongues were burning brightly - ask Windy....

And so the 546th BA Hash came to an end, and the experienced and new hashers alike all seemed to have a good day out, and with the weather starting to warm up, we look forward to the arrival of spring, with this weeks hash being a pre-taster of things to come - ON ON



Hash Trash - # 544 - Parque Centenario - Just a Perfect Day

Well, somebody had said that it was winter in Buenos Aires, but you may have been in for a surprise at the latest hash, when the multitude of hashers from Buenos Aires arrived in Parque Centenario for the 544th hash organised by the mis-management committee. The sun was blazing and temperatures, (in the sun anyway), were up in the mid-teens.

Tit Climber and Two Secs were the hares of record, and after a hare talk which confused as much as enlightened, the pack was off and running. Mr Mum, IHA and Wire My Baby were the front runners for the day, quickly finding the Macho Trail and disappearing from the strolling hashers, lead by Sister Mary, Tongue y Lingus and Red Hot Chilli.

Initially the trail was easily found, and then disaster struck. A subtle (if long) false trail was found by the FRB's, who back-tracked to the previous check, only to be abject failures at finding the right trail. The architecturally beautiful electricity building that adjoined the trail at this point, was becoming less attractive as the pack re-grouped, and managed to run around it a few times, without finding trail - And then, a moment of clarity was heard as On On was called, and trail spotted...

Unfortunately, this trail looked somewhat familiar, given that the pack had been running around in circles, and before they knew it, they were back at the check that had lead to all the problems in the first place :). For the first time in memory, the pack were completely lost, so Tongue y Lingus used her modern communication device to call the hares, who were patiently waiting at the Beer Stop, and directions were given, and before too long, the whole pack (having missed 5 Km's of trail) arrived at the Beer Stop by the railway lines, where there was a Two Tier system of beer, for Wimps and Macho's, along with picada, benches to rest on, and the sun shining on our backs.

After a short repast, the pack moved off together, with Roger The Cabin Boy and Mr Mum discussing, at some length, Rupert Murdochs woes, and soon we were all back at the Parque Centenario where a Picnic in The Park was arranged, wonderful empenadas were enjoyed, along with a little beer, and down-downs were issued to all for one reason or another. Notably to a visitor from Peru (Clara?), for the simple reason that Peru were the only team with a hasher into the semi-finals of the Copa America.

All in all, a good day, if a truncated hasd, and naturally the hares were found guilty of confusing the pack, which lets face it, may not be the hardest thing to do - we are hashhers after all.

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Hash Trash - # 541 - It's Quilmes - The place, not just the beer!

A group of reasonably hardy hashers, (the locals and the wimps reckoned it was cold), gathered in the Plaza Bicentenario in Quilmes for the 541 BAHHH outing.

Once underway the pack headed in the direction of the railway station and the first wimp/macho split - the machos proceding towards capital until an unofficial crossing of the railway line, after which they ran a further 8 blocks before catching up with the wimps as they passed the mural depicting the hardships experienced by the Kilme people. Shortly thereafter there was a second macho/wimp split, with the machos enjoying the ascent and descent over the road bridge, only to find that they had to repeat the process on the other side of the bridge, whilst there were a few wry smiles amongst those FRBs that enjoyed this diversion, it served to allow the wimps to catch up.

A short run later and the pack was running alongside the Quilmes (or should it be "Kill Me") 'beer' factory until they reached the mid point and were faced with a check. The true trail took the pack into Villa Argentina, a rather attractive group of houses that were built for the brewery workers years ago. Once through the Villa, the pack rolled into Parque Cervecero, where the first beer stopped allowed for some slacking of thirst (or was it Pussy Galore's attempt at poisioning the pack, by the supply of Quilmes beer?)

After a quick circuit of the playing fields, the pack continued on its way and found the last macho/wimp split. The machos continued south and were then faced with hordes of Quilmes Athletic football fans and a slightly smaller number of Riot Police.....the latter insisting on the pack diverting off trail to avoid the fans. It was at this point that the GM realised that two of the pack were missing - Red Hot Chili and Foxy Lady. A search party (just a small one as there were only 6 running the macho section) was despatched to track the lost members down. The search proved to be futile as RHC and FL duly appeared after having taken advantage of the Province's generosity and decided to enjoy a free flu jab! Once the search party had found its way back, and after briefly having the trail blocked by the arriving Boca Juniors team coach and associated police escort, the pack continued on to the Parque adjacent to the National Hockey Stadium and the checkback, which marked the turn around point of the course.

Heading homeward, we were further delayed by a couple of member's hunger and their need to have a choripan stop. Hunger satisfied the pack picked up the pace and made it to the second beer stop, where thirsts were sated before the final romp home.

The circle was kept fairly short but acknowledged the hares for their sterling efforts (no bias at all here!!), Just Ian/Griff (from NZ) and Just Martin (from USA) were introduced as virgins, and there were down downs for such as child abuse, eating on the hash and others that momentarily slip the author's mind (or maybe the alcohol on the day blotted them out?!?),

At the time of writing there were still no hares for the next hash so no announcement could be made. ( edit! - We have now - see next post - San Isidro!)

The hares: Pussy Galore, Peggy, Qualified Seaman and Ian/Griff

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Hash Trash - # 540 The San Telmo Damp Day

Sunday morning and the dark skies over Buenos Aires did not look good for the hash. But the RA has a very special Hotline to the Weather God, and by 11;30 the rain had stopped, the sun was trying hard to creep out, and the clouds were breaking up. With the forecast having been bad, and the GM being off in the campo, nobody knew who might turn up for Can't Say No's hosting in San Telmo. Well, despite the weather, almost 30 hashers braved the elements, including 4 new virgins to the BA Hash, from four seperate countries, in fact, four seperate continents! Claudia from BA (who had recently hashed in Dubai, and loved it!), Sarah from the US, On-On Stephanie from England, and Jak(!) from South Africa - And the rest of us....

Qualified Semen, Can't Say No and myself, Inspect her Assets, co-hared, and the trail set off a little late, and swiftly broke into two packs, with the front runners, including our new arrivals Claudia and Sarah, rushing off, frantically trying to ensure they were back before the rain returned. The more sedate pack of walkers took a leisurely stroll around the back street of San Telmo, heading out in the direction of La Boca, before re-joining the trail as the packs headed through parque Lezuma, taking some strange looks from the market traders as we ran through.

Inevitably for a Hash from San Telmo, we headed towards the glass and metal high-rises of Puerto Madero, with the rain having washed out some of the trail at this point, almost obliterating the Beer Stop markings, but Can't Say No was waiting with Isenbeck in hand, and a grateful pack gulped down their refreshment before the packs split, allowing those who like the longer run to run deeper towards the river, while the second group (We call them wimps, but they are a nice bunch really!), headed along the Puerto Madero docks, enjoying the water and the views, before crossing the Calatrava designed Bridge of the Mujers (see - spanish and english altogether!), and heading back towards the city.

The Front Runners were accused of a bit of racing, with Tit Climber seen sprinting with our American virgin, and they made record time, despite stopping to try and get some jobs as extra in a movie scene being shot in the Capital, with Diagonal Norte having been turned into New York Chinatown, even with a Yellow Cab driving the street. Having failed in their fledgling acting careers, they headed back towards home, as the wimps were enjoying the Balcarce scene, and before anyone knew it, the packs were back together again at Plaza Eva Peron, and the Hash had come to an end.

As the RA had only arranged for the weather to stay clement until 1:30, the circle was conducted in double time, with only enough time to congratulate the hares on a wonderful trail, say hello to the virgins,(all single!), and admonish the racists for running fast!, before the rain started to reappear, along with Tonguey Lingus who had delivered the empenandas, and we retired to Can't Say No's apartment for more beer, and delicious food - A fitting end to a good days hash.

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Hash Trash - # 539 Sunday May 8th

Unfortunately due to a number of the regular Hashers being unavailable, and with the Hash being out in the country, Sundays Hash was thinly attended, but the Hares Green Card and Dun Dun did a marvelous job in creating a wonderful day out for those that made it.

The place was wonderful, the perfect day, the roast afterwards more than rich, a long run, through beautiful scenery, riding stables with Arabian horses, trees with different autumnal colours, or for our North Americans, Fall Colors! The quality of the running was matched by the location, and for those who were able to make it, a memorable day.


Hash Trash - # 538 Sunday April 24th

It was Easter Sunday, and naturally many Hashers were occupied with family events, or had taken the opportunity of a long weekend (as we simply don't get enough holidays here in Argentina!), to get away to the Campo for the break. So, it was a small, but select group of Hashers who met on a beautifully sunny, warm, autumn morning (thanks to the RA of course!), at a small parque area on Concepcion Arenal in Palermo, for the 538th BsAs Hash, since it's conception back in 1993.

This hash was being hared by Virgin Hares, and Just Elizabeth and Just Terry, all the way from Oklahoma, had laid a trail in Blue Flower as a touch for Easter, along with some appropriate Bunny Ears. The first arrival at the meeting point was a vistor from Sydney Harriettes, Lizard, who put us in our place, as she has been hashing for 26 years, long before we were even a twinkle in the eyes of our founding fathers here in Buenos Aires, and not long before our hares were a twinkle in their parents eyes!

Our numbers grew, with two Virgins arriving, one from the Netherlands, and the other from Detroit, along with the hardy regulars who clearly didin't have any better offers for Easter fare. A little later than usual we set off onto the streets of Palermo, with Easy Rides Her and Qualified Semen leading the hunt for trail, as is often the case. The compact pack followed attentively, with our Virgins teaming up, and Inspect her Assets acting chivalarously (sic!), and holding back for Lizard, who had come equipped with a map, and the rest of the pack looking forward to an early beer stop - with the hares carrying the beer on their backs to the halts.

As the scribe of this Trash, I have to confess to missing out on the Beer Stops as we lost the trail at a couple of points, and so cannot faithfully report on the wonderful display of Front Running from our fitter Hashers, but as they were sweating when they returned to base camp, I can assure everyone that they must have run hard and true, in first class hash form, as usual.

Once everyone had re-gathered, the circle took place, with interesting tales of adventure, mis-adventure, sex on trail, and heaps of praise for our Virgin Trail Layers. Between IHA and Mr Mom, songs were sung, Wire Me Baby ensured a good supply of beer was had, and then, to the delight of many, the pizzas arrived, and we took sustanence with Mozzarella and Ham. Questions were asked as to whether we were all missing out on an Easter Bunny for Sunday Lunch, and we dispersed to our homes, fed and watered, and looking forward to the next Hash in two weeks time....

On On - IHA

Hash Number 537 - 1st Inter Hash del Rio de la Plata - April 10th 2011

Once we had learnt here in Buenos Aires that a new Hash kennel had been set up in Montevideo, Uruguay, it was inevitable that we would get together sooner, rather than later, to have a joint Inter-Hash with our friends across the river. With the encouragement and dedication of Roger The Cabin Boy and Red Hot Chilli from BA, combined with Karine(GM) and Karine(RA) from Uruguay, the first International Rio De La Plata Hash took place on Sunday, April 10th, in Colonia del Sacramento, on the banks of the River Plate.

The BsAs Hashers made their way across the river by various boats, with Buquebus taking some, Seacat others, and a small armada of private yachts (well, Ok, two is a small armada!), making their way to Colonia. A large contingent of Uruguayos arrived on Saturday evening and an evening of fine dining, dancing, quite a bit of drinking, and I understand quite a few late night revelers only making it to bed as the sun was rising over the old town.

The sun shone down on Colonia (thanks to the RA's), and the Hash began to gather on the grass, with the BA Hashers laughing and joking, and the Uruguayos stretching and limbering up for some serious athletic pursuit. Ivor the Engine and Windy Culo had been limbering up in true Hash style on Saturday, by entertaining Raymundo from Quito (via Coolock, Dublin), but I fear that the only stretching had been to pick up another bottle of red wine. Gradually we all assembled, the GM welcomed one and all to this momentous occassion, the hares explained the different types of markings we would find on this 3-dimensional hash (we didn't know what his meant either!), and we were off!

For those unfamiliar with Colonia (you legal guys who have never had to enjoy a Visa run!), it is an old portuguese town, picturesque, and built out onto the river. Well, the first steps of the hash took us down to the town wall, and onto the rocks, where first blood went to Ivor when his knee decided to take a closer inspection of the terra-firma, but he was up and running before his engine whistle could toot. A scramble up into the town and across the drawbridge onto the cobbled streets, with tourists stopping to wonder what these cries of On-On were, and the local mime artist suddenly playing second fiddle to 40 plus hashers, still tightly packed together at this early point.

The hares had laid a clever trail back down towards the river, and then in one movement, we went down the steps to be faced with the first wading excursion of the day - Into the beautiful clear crystal blue waters of the Rio Plata (EDITORIAL LICENCE!) - Having successfully negotiated the water, Windy Culo decided that sand was a perfect place to turn over on your ankle, and promptly fell onto the floor in much the same way that Christian Ronaldo collapses under a tug at his shirt. To be fair, Windy was in some pain, and a quickly swelling ankle put paid to his Hashing for the day. Fortunately for him, there was a bar withing sight, and he hobbled over to there to partake of a beer or three while he waited for the Pack to return in time - Always helps to numb the pain....

Away from the water, the pack headed out of the old town and along the cobbled streets of this very pretty location. We headed past the football stadium, climbed a hillside (the trail actually went up steps - but hashers never take the easy option), and just as it appeared to be getting boring along a main road, we descended some steps down into a wooded valley, clambering through undergrowth, before climbing back up to a road and civilization again.

The pack split a little here, but after two different routes, seemed to converge again a few kilometres along in a park/scrubland area, with trails, horses, and flies in abundance. A number of checks had us guessing, but thanks to the Uruguayan RA being with us (also one of the hares), we stayed on trail, and found ourselves on the beach. Another rocky climb saw arrows pointing straight into the river, and many a soul followed blindly, while the wiser ones looked for a way across the rocks. The waders were waist high (or head high in a couple of cases of slippage), and emerged onto the sandy beach smiling and cursing at the same time, but all in one piece, if a little wet!

We followed the railway line back towards the dock, through a villa, with children shouting On On to us (or was it Hola?), and before we knew it, we were heading back to the starting point, after a run of around 12 kilometres, and the First Inter-Hash of the Rio Plata was ready for a circle.

Ivor lead proceedings, as Karine & Guillermo explained that their circles were relatively short, so the BsAs group, with Ivor explaining everything in English, and Easy Rides Her acting as translator, managed to show how to do down downs, with

Windy being held upside down, just to take the weight of his poor ankle, to celebrate his 169th Hash, and many more for various reasons, which you can guess at. Footsie lead the community singing, a new addition for Uruguay who only knew one Hash song (song sheets will be sent for future use), and the circle came to an end with a rendition of Swing Low, to cement the International Co-operation.

We descended on a local restauramt for food, beer, wine, and more singing, where, despite the glorious sunshine, Footsie lead the assembled throng in a great rendition of Singing In The Rain, and a lot of new friendships were made, in the spirit of Hashing worldwide. A tremendous success, and everyone present looking forward to repeating the event in Argentina next time.



Hash Number 536 - Nunez & The Rio Plata - March 27th 2011

A wonderful sunny day, courtesy of the RA, welcomed the Hashers to Footsie & Party Pants humble abode for Hash number 536. Before the run commenced, the GM welcomed a number of virgins to the Hash, and hoped they would enjoy their day out, and come back often. The Hare Talk lost something in translation, as Footsie advised Hashers to follow the "aerials", which gave visions of hashers climbing onto rooftops, or chasing cars - we think he meant arrows.

With some of the more athletic Hashers out today, the pack split up within 200m of the start, which set the pattern for the day. The run took us across the railway line and down towards the river, with Fill My Hole, Ivor the Engine and Easy Rides Her to the fore, with Two Secs chasing hard. It was noticed that a little short-cutting seemed to be going on, but as there are no rules in hashing, who was counting?

A shortage of checks in the first half of the run resulted in a split group arriving at the Beer Check by the river, which was a welcome sight for many, given the lengthy running along the coast. By the river, Hashers were ducking Kites and Flying Model Aircraft as they searched for chalk marks, but all seemed well at the Beer Check, and the Macho/Wimp split.

At this point, another split occured, as the FRB's set off at a breakneck pace, and the more sedate ambled back towards Nunez. A pack of four, Beautiful Bristols, Inspect her Assets, Can't Say No, led by Windy Culo, actually thought they were running the Wimps trail, only to find that they were actually on the Macho run. Unfortunately, Windy had failed to hear the instructions of Three White Dots as a False Trail, and kept running ahead calling On On when he saw the three dots - much to the chagrin of his companions, for which he enjoyed a down down later.

All that went out made it back for the circle, and with 5 Multi-National Virgins to welcome, it was a lengthy one, Brazil, the US, Australia and Argentina were represented. It was great to see returnees, with Roger The Cabin Boy having made it back from Brazil with his boat, after his holiday back to blighty.

As the preceedings wore on, and the jokes got worse, it was time for more naming ceremonies, with Gabriel & Diana up for names. The circle took some time to come up with appropiate names for these two, eventually deciding on Tit Climber and Dick Diver, and they were duly christend with beer and flower.

As ever Footsie & Party Pants had stoked up the parilla, and patis were abundant for all, with salad to go with it, and copious amounts of beer, with Easy Rides Her very happy to see Quilmes making an appearance amongst the Isenbeck. Mr Mom dished out his dulce y leche, and everyone relaxed and planned their trip to the next hash in Colonia on April 10th.


Hash Number 535 - St Patricks Day Hash

OK, well maybe it was run a few days before St Patricks Day, but the theme was Green, and the Irish were out for the day. The hares were Windy Culo and Inspect Her Assets, our two regular Paddies (even though they both have suspicious accents!), and the sun shone brightly up in Acassuso as the Hashers arrived by train, car, bike and by foot.

After an extensive Hare Talk, which sent most hashers to sleep, ON ON was called and off everyone went, following trail to the station, where obviously the sun was affecting eyesight as the pack crossed the railway line, despite the obvious trail marks, with Easy Rides Her leading the pack the wrong way. Order was soon restored and the FRB's ran off towards the river, led by Qualified Semen (completing his 100th Hash with the BAH3), along with the GM Ivor the Engine.

The walking hashers, including a virgin, were soon left behind, and once the pack hit the main road, there was concern on the face of the hares, and Inspect Her Assets returned to try and find them. It turned out they had taken the long False Trail, en masse, and had passed the X mark by a few hundred metres before turning back and accepting that they were wrong. Tongue Y Lingus and Suck-a Duck were helping in Trail reading, which explains why they got lost.

Meanwhile, after the Macho/Wimp split, a cunning ploy by Windy Culo had seen False Trails towards the river, which involved hills, a rarity within BsAs, but the Macho Hashers were howling away in good style and recovered their breath to make it up and down without incident.

Somehow the FRB's completed their Macho run before the Wimps made the split, and the very welcome Beer Stop at Martinez Station was packed with Hashers by the time everyone re-grouped. The final ON IN along the railway saw a few Hashers failing to follow trail, as they knew where they were heading, but a few curses were heard as the trail went under the railway and back - twice, just to annoy those looking forward to the beer.

Back at Windy's house, the parilla was lit, and the Down Down's began, with many a beer chugged by Visitors, returnees, and Virgins alike. Open Cola shared the Love Cup with Just Veronica for having "Sex on Trail", and once the RA took over proceedings, a naming ceremony, with much debate about Yoga positions, before the suggestions were put to the vote, and Cums In Class became the latest hasher to be named by the BAH3.

As it was St Patricks Day, all the English Hashers were invited into the centre to explain how they were beaten at Cricket by the Pub Team from Ireland at the World Cup, and to take their penance of a down down. And so, to finish off the circle, as the asado was ready, insted of a rendering of Swing Low, the Irish Hashers got together to blast out The Fields of Athenry, after which the party began.......